Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations with Clients 71‘‘That’s fine.’’‘‘There is one other problem. Donna is very upset. How do yousuggest we help her to feel better?’’‘‘That’s your problem as I see it.’’‘‘I’ve told her that you were upset and did not mean all the thingsyou said to her. But, I don’t want an awkward situation when you orMrs. Lane return to the clinic. What could we do to make that happen?’’(Invites Mr. Lane to resolve the issue.)A long silence ensues. ‘‘I suppose I could tell her I’m sorry I yelledat her and next time I’ll yell at you instead.’’ He laughs.‘‘Let’s try and refrain from all the yelling. Things work out muchbetter for everyone when we can stay calm. But, I would appreciateyour apologizing to Donna. Meantime, I will put a note in your recordto contact you for all decisions related to your animals.’’ (Summarizesthe resolution.)‘‘I’m not going to pay for those tests.’’‘‘We customarily recommend running blood work on older animals,but I will take those charges off Muffin’s invoice this time. If, however,you are upset in the future and you display that to my staff, I will haveto ask you to find another vet. My staff is too important to me.’’(Restates the consequences.)‘‘Sure, I’ll come to you if I have any problems or questions.’’ANALYSISDr. Nash used nonexplosive words to keep Mr. Lane calm (wordslike distressed, rather than outraged or angry). At the same time, heset clear limits. Dr. Nash showed great patience as he listened toMr. Lane. He suggested he find another vet, but Mr. Lane wanted tocontinue using Dr. Nash’s clinic. Whether or not Mr. Lane changeshis behavior is a toss up, but Dr. Nash made the consequences clear:Yell at my staff and you’ll have to find another vet.Specify the Problem. Dr. Nash did not immediately jump rightinto the problem. Instead he began by asking questions to find outfrom Mr. Lane what happened. Often in these situations, we jumpright in without giving the other person a chance to tell his or herstory. By allowing Mr. Lane to vent and share his concerns, Dr. Nashsoftened him before getting to the actual problem.Invite the Other Person to Talk. Dr. Nash invited Mr. Lane to talkimmediately and continued to do so throughout the conversation. Atthe end, he wanted Mr. Lane to apologize to Donna, but he wanted
72 Managing Sticky Situations at Workhim to come up with the idea. If Dr. Nash had made the suggestion,he would have lessened the likelihood of it happening.Join Feeling with Fact. Dr. Nash joined feeling with fact throughoutthe conversation. He began by saying he was distressed. He askedMr. Lane to talk about his feelings and how to resolve the issues thatsparked those feelings.Resolve the Issue. Dr. Nash’s overlying issue was to stop Mr. Lanefrom chewing out his staff. He, therefore, agreed to Mr. Lane’s desireto make the decisions for the animals, and he also agreed to adjust Mr.Lane’s bill. In return Mr. Lane must bring his concerns to Dr. Nash,rather than yell at the front desk staff, and he must apologize to Donna.If Mr. Lane does not comply, Dr. Nash made the consequences clear.FIRING THE CLIENTSome of you may wonder why Dr. Nash didn’t simply fire theobnoxious Mr. Lane. After all, Dr. Nash’s success did not depend onthe Lanes’ business. Had Dr. Nash applied the Decision Points andrealized that firing the client was the best option, he would have proceededwith that intention as noted below.APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDr. Nash wants to avoid missteps when firing a client like Mr. Lane.If he uses explosive words with a highly charged Bold, he might findhimself in a dangerous place. The goal here is to let the client knowthat he is no longer welcome in the clinic without incurring too muchwrath.When firing a client, you can still use compassion and you may wantto show curiosity. One caution, however, if you show too much curiositythe client might believe he or she can remain your client. If youclearly want to end the client’s business, it’s best to state the problemand to move to the next steps without too much conversation.SIJR CONVERSATION TO FIRE THE CLIENTDr. Nash chooses to telephone Mr. Lane at his home the evening ofthe incident.‘‘Hello, Mr. Lane. This is Dr. Nash. How is Muffin doing?’’‘‘He’s doing fine. My wife tells me he’s eating and taking hismedication.’’
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Page 100 and 101: Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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Sticky Etiquette Situations 165Rita
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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