Managing Sticky Situations at Work

4 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkRoger walks into the restaurant and finds Sandra seated at atable. She is holding a glass of wine. When he enters, she smilesand lifts her glass to him. ‘‘We should celebrate our new relationshipand many more years of work together,’’ she says. Rogersmiles and agrees. He pulls out a chair across from her. In asmall, almost imperceptible movement, she slides her chairtoward his. ‘‘Drinks are on me,’’ she says.The waiter, who is standing ready, nods to Roger, who orders aglass of soda. Sandra raises an eyebrow. ‘‘Come on, Roger, relax.Have a drink with me to celebrate.’’ She leans toward him andclicks her glass on his water glass. Roger agrees to one glass ofwhite wine. He pulls out his laptop and clicks onto the softwareintroductory proposal. Sandra brushes the hair from her foreheadand says, ‘‘For heaven sakes, before we get into all that, I’d like tolearn more about you. Tell me what you like to do when you’renot working?’’ Her eyes bore into him.How might you interpret the nonverbal messages Sandra sent toRoger?• Her signals suggest anything from a simple relaxed friendship to apossible seduction.• She encourages him with smiles, raised eyebrow, movement in hisdirection, informal touching of her hair.• Her words say she wants to celebrate. Her actions suggest a littlemore.How might you interpret the nonverbal messages Roger sent toSandra?• He sits across from her, not next to her, suggesting a formal meeting.• He orders a nonalcoholic drink, suggesting he’s working.• He pulls out his laptop immediately. He wants to work.When you find yourself in a situation where you communicate onetype of relationship and the other person communicates another—and where the messages are primarily nonverbal—watch out.As preamble to talking your way out of this sticky situation andavoiding the potential land mines, let’s examine what makes communicationsuccessful. Even the best model will fail if we do not approachthe situation effectively.