Managing Sticky Situations at Work

164 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkSTICKY SITUATION #21:HOW TO EXTRICATE YOURSELF FROM A TALKERRita is a software engineer. She spends a lot of her time at hercomputer. Her work demands intensity. When she’s in the middleof a project, it’s difficult for her to break away. Her co-worker,Art, is a training specialist. He helps orient people to the newsoftware designs that Rita’s department develops. Likable,friendlyArthasjustoneflaw.Hedoesnotrecognizewhenhe’soverstayed his welcome. Rita knows Art does not mean to interrupther. She suspects he gets bored or needs a break from his work.He spends much of the week on the road. While in the office, hebecomes restless and perhaps hungry for companionship. He comesinto Rita’s office, sits down, and talks. He could stay 30 minutesto an hour. Rita does not wish to hurt his feelings, but his ‘‘visits’’often come when she’s either trying to meet a deadline or in themiddle of a project that requires her full attention. She’s triedto gracefully extricate herself, but Art doesn’t get the message.Once when she told him she had an appointment and had toleave, he followed her out of the office, talking the entire time!APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSRita weighs the costs. Art comes into her office about once a weekand stays about 30 minutes. He travels the rest of the time. It annoysRita, but Art’s interruptions are not that frequent. If she talks to himabout it, he may get offended. If she offends him, he will stop comingto visit her. Rita realizes that if Art stops visiting her, it really wouldnot matter. She likes him; he’s friendly and personable, but he’s nota close friend. There are others in the office with whom he can talkand others she’d prefer to be with. Nonetheless, Rita does not wishto hurt Art’s feelings.Rita sets the limits. Rita realizes that she can work out a plan forArttotalkwithherthatfitsinwithherworkschedule.Shecannotalways know when she’ll be in the middle of a deadline, but if she createsa plan, she could gain control of these ‘‘unscheduled’’ visits. Shedecides that she will allow Art 30 minutes a week. Gaining a sense ofwhen he’ll come and for how long (it will have an end) releases herfrom permanently closing the door on him.