Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Chapter 3Sticky Situations with Your BossAt some point in our lives, we stumble upon a boss who is difficult towork with. When you find yourself in this situation, you must firstdecide if your boss is difficult with everyone or merely with you.If the boss is difficult with everyone, you are dealing with a DifficultPerson. The way you deal with a Difficult Person differs from the wayyou might deal with a boss who is difficult only with you. When youandyourbossclash,youhaveapersonality conflict. You can applythe SIJR Model in both instances. When you apply the model with aDifficult Person, however, some tips might guide you.TIPS FOR DEALING WITH A DIFFICULT PERSON• Don’t take the difficult behavior personally. Be aware that your bossclashes with everyone, not just you. Recognize the individual’s inabilityto relate to other people as his or her problem, not yours.• Don’t get defensive, even if you have to bite your tongue. When youdefend yourself, the Difficult Person wins. Instead, ignore commentsthat put you on the defensive and stay on track. Defer to the SIJRModel to help you remain detached. For example, concentrate on
30 Managing Sticky Situations at Workusing ‘‘I’’ messages versus ‘‘You’’ messages. Or, concentrate on beingcurious.• Look for positive qualities in the Difficult Person. Perhaps that personexcels at details; perhaps he or she handles crises well. Capitalize onthese qualities when you deal with the Difficult Person. Remember onecomponent of the SIJR Model is compassion.• Learn to cope with your own emotions. Difficult People drain youremotions. Give yourself opportunities to let emotions out. Try exercise,meditation, or fun activities with friends. Do not dump on your lovedones day after day. Search for other means to vent your frustrations.• Learn to handle your own problems. The less interaction with theDifficult Person the better for all concerned.When researching this book, I heard countless people describe theirdifficult bosses as sociopaths. I heard words like crazy, sick, mentallyunstable. When you put this kind of label on someone, you give yourselfpermission to toss in the towel. How could you possibly deal witha crazy sociopath? The fault for everything that’s gone wrong lies withyour boss, right? Perhaps the boss is not as mentally imbalanced as youthink. Perhaps you just did not say it just right.ARE YOU A DIFFICULT PERSON?Read each statement and rate it as truthfully as you can. Does the statementsound like something you’d say or do?1. I can’t wait to finish conversations with other people.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True2. My staff tells me I’m a very demanding leader.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True3. No one has ever told me how great it was to work for me.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True4. When people tell me nice things, I know they want something.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True5. Most people don’t care about anything but doing as little as theycan to get by.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True6. I never bother my boss with little things. Why should otherscome to me when they can’t do their jobs?Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True
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Page 8: ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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Page 38 and 39: Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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