Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations with Your Boss 43we can still get the call center going without jeopardizing either of ourcareers.’’ (Resolves the issue.)Steve scowls and sighs. ‘‘Bentley isn’t going to like this.’’‘‘It’s not Bentley whose neck is on the line. All our reputationscould suffer if we handle this incorrectly. Furthermore, the entire callcenter program might collapse. Bentley would not like that one bit. Iknow that you and Bentley worked hard and want to see it succeed.But, I also suspect that you wouldn’t want to endanger all that work.Alienating firm management is not a good way to launch the new callcenter. It’s in your best interests to bring them along, and I can helpwith that. What prevents you from going through firm management?’’(Invites further talk from Steve.)‘‘I am worried that they are so paranoid with protections that theywill never buy into the call center.’’Cynthia sighs. ‘‘That’s always a possibility. I’ve made some majorprogress with them, and I think as long as we show them that we cando this without causing leaks in the system, they’ll approve a pilot.I’m willing to begin that process if you’ll give me the go ahead.’’‘‘Fine, but if the whole thing collapses, it’s your neck in the noose aswell as mine.’’Cynthia gets up. ‘‘I’d rather go down in an honest fight. I’m willingto take that risk with you. Thanks, Steve.’’ANALYSISAgain, Cynthia does not expect to change Steve. She used her persuasive,logical style to convince him of the risks. Knowing he’s a Bold,she realized he had not thought through everything. That gave her anedge. She showed compassion for Steve’s desire to launch a projecthe’d spent months creating. She also chose language that a Bold couldunderstand, namely, ‘‘neck on the line,’’ ‘‘collapse’’ of the call center,‘‘honest fight,’’ and ‘‘share risks.’’Specify the Problem. Cynthia immediately told Steve whattroubled her, that is, being put in a position between him and firmmanagement. She also specified that she would not go back on herword with firm management.Invite the Other Person to Talk. Bolds do not need a lot of invitationto talk. They will tell you what they think. Steve did that. Hereiterated his order. Rather than get defensive, Cynthia invited himto consider more options. She showed a genuine curiosity when sheasked the question, ‘‘What other options are there?’’
44 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkJoin Feeling with Fact. Because she was dealing with a Bold personality,Cynthia did not dwell on her feelings. She said she was ‘‘concerned.’’She showed compassion for Steve’s desire to get the callcenter launched and all the work he’d put into the project. Bolds donot like to talk about feelings. She did not overemphasize how distraught,hurt, and betrayed she felt by Steve’s request. She actuallydownplayed her feelings. She did, however, let Steve know the probableconsequences of this rash plan when she said she did not wantto jeopardize both their careers. Often Bolds do not take the time tothink through all the ramifications of their bold moves.Resolve the Issue. Cynthia suggested ways to resolve the issue thatwould keep her integrity intact while she continued to point out thenegative consequences with Steve’s plan to rush the project. Her willingnessat the end to take responsibility if the project failed showed theBold personality that she would share risks. Bolds do not like to admitit when they are wrong. Cynthia did not push him too hard. Insteadshe agreed to take risks with him, thanked him, and left.CONCLUSIONWe’ve examined three sticky situations with difficult bosses. Thefirst boss, Angie, was clearly a Difficult Person who was difficult witheveryone at her agency. Peter took a realistic approach with her, recognizingthe slim chances that her behavior would change. He workedout a solution whereby he could tolerate her inability to communicatewith others, benefit from her creative ideas, and keep him from internalizingher criticism.The other two bosses, Richard and Steve, were not Difficult People.Instead they found themselves in sticky situations where their subordinatesharbored major disagreements with them. In these situationsMark and Cynthia formed their SIJR Conversations from a standpointof genuine curiosity and compassion rather than anger and defensiveness.They, thereby, increased the likelihood that their bosses’ behaviorswould change.The next chapter explores sticky situations with co-workers. Whenwe look at these situations, we must also consider whether we are dealingwith Difficult People or people with whom we have a problem.Sometimes difficult co-workers demonstrate the traits of a DifficultPerson. These people are more challenging, but by using the SIJRModel, you can say it just right.
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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Page 15 and 16: xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
Page 17 and 18: xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
Page 20 and 21: Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
Page 22 and 23: The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
Page 36 and 37: Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
Page 38 and 39: Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
Page 40 and 41: Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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Her intent with this question was n
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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