Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations with Co-Workers 47‘‘Look, Dale, I did pull some things together for you. I made alist of everything that needs to be done, but I can’t do any more.I’ve got too much on my plate right now.’’Dale’s face turns red. ‘‘But, you said you’d help. I was countingon you. Now what am I supposed to do? If this doesn’t fly,it’s not just my butt on the line.’’‘‘You don’t have to get so hot,’’ Samantha replies. ‘‘I did whatI could, and that’s more than most people would have done.’’‘‘What’s that supposed to mean? After all I’ve done for you inthe past, I thought you’d be more of a team player than this.’’‘‘I am a team player, and you know that. I’ve always pulledthrough for you.’’Dale rises. ‘‘Not this time. You’d better leave. I’ve got a lot ofwork to do.’’Feeling angry and frustrated, Samantha leaves.APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSSamantha weighs the costs. If Samantha does nothing, she has littleto lose. She’s been helpful to Dale, and she knows it. If fact, theconceptoftoughlovemightworkbesthere.LetDalesinkorswim.He needs to do his job on his own without assistance from Samantha.Conversely, Dale and Samantha have always enjoyed a very goodworking relationship. Samantha likes his energetic, friendly manner.Furthermore, Dale knows lots of people throughout the company,not just in his department. If he freezes her out, she’ll feel it in thelunch room and possibly elsewhere. She’d prefer not to leave thingson such a sour note.Samantha sets her limits. Samantha recognizes that she helpedDale for too long. She should have broken away sooner. She also realizesthat by waiting she ended up severing their ties too abruptly. Shedid not handle the situation well. Furthermore, she gave him theimpression she’d help him. She should have told him no immediately.By using the word we when she asked about the amount of prep time,she left him with the idea that she’d help. Granted she made some mistakesin her dealings with Dale, but her ultimate goal is for Dale todevelop the confidence to do his own job. She will no longer dropeverything to help him. She will place a limit on what she will do andwhat she won’t do.
48 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkSamantha determines the power sources. Samantha knows thatDale has no real power over her position in the company. She hasestablished her reputation as a smart, capable employee. Dale, too,has proven his ability. Because her company values teamwork, if Dalelabels Samantha an unworthy team player, it could jeopardize herstanding. Samantha does not worry too much about this problembecause of her strong reputation with her immediate supervisors. Eventhough Dale does not intimidate her, she wants to have a good workingrelationship with him. She envisions him as someone who mightbe supervising her someday.PERSONALITY OVERLAYWhat is Dale’s personality type? We know he’s a friendly, peopleperson. He is also persuasive. Competitive Bolds never ask for help,and logical, organized Technicals learn new jobs in their own systematicway. If he were a Sympathetic, he would have shown compassionfor Samantha’s situation in her new job. A Sympathetic would havealso shown more gratitude for Samantha’s previous help. In all likelihood,Dale is an Expressive.Samantha, on the other hand, is not an Expressive. She wants tomaintain a good relationship with Dale. She went out of her way tohelp him with his new responsibilities. Had Samantha been a Bold,she would have ended the ties with Dale much sooner. A Technicalwould have left systematic instructions for her predecessor. She demonstratedall the characteristics of a loyal, dedicated friend; that is aSympathetic.SAY IT JUST RIGHT CONVERSATIONAfter Samantha returns from her trip, she goes to Dale’s office.‘‘Do you have a second?’’Dale shrugs. ‘‘Only a minute. I’ve got to run these by Legal. Whatdo you want?’’Samantha settles across from him. ‘‘I want to talk about whathappened last week before I left town. I did not like the way thingsended—’’‘‘What do you mean?’’ he interrupts. ‘‘You said you’d help me, andyou didn’t. End of story. I managed to pull something off. God knowswhether it will fly or not.’’
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
Page 15 and 16: xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
Page 17 and 18: xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
Page 20 and 21: Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
Page 22 and 23: The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Page 38 and 39: Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
Page 40 and 41: Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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