Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations with Your Boss 41APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSCynthia determines the costs. Her boss gave her a direct order notto say anything to firm management. If she disobeys this direct order,her boss will have grounds to fire her. If she does what her boss wants,her colleagues in firm management will erupt in fury. They will go forblood—specifically hers. Her ability to work for them will end. Trustwill be shattered. Furthermore, she gave her word. She cannot, ingood faith, turn her back on her promise. That leaves one option.She must tell her boss she cannot do it. If he decides to dismiss her,she’ll leave. She likes her job. She’s worked her way up, and it payswell. Getting another job like this, especially after leaving this wellrespectedinstitution under murky circumstances, will prove difficult.This could be a career-breaking decision. The costs are high on bothsides.Cynthia sets her limits. Cynthia decides she cannot go back on herword without alerting firm management. She cannot alert firm managementwithout directly defying her boss. She decides she will talkto her boss and make it clear she will not change the passwords withoutthe approval of firm management. If they give their approval, shewill gladly comply with his wishes.Cynthia looks at the power sources. By giving her a direct order,Steve made it clear who is boss. He put her in a position of a lowly subordinatewhom he dominates and commands. Cynthia knows, however,that her relationship with firm management gives her someclout. They like her, respect her, and trust her. She could do majordamage to her boss’s reputation. She might get fired, but the oddsare she’ll be fired anyway. She realizes she has more power than shethought. She also knows that if she changes the passwords, she’ll needto involve the Security Department. Security never acts without a nodfrom firm management. Her relationship with Security gives her a bitmore leverage. She’s sure they will back her decision not to proceedwithout firm management’s okay.PERSONALITY OVERLAYWhat personality style is Cynthia dealing with? Steve is certainly nota cautious person. Someone, who says, ‘‘It’s better to ask forgivenessthan permission,’’ enjoys taking risks. That characteristic suggestshe’s either an Expressive or a Bold, not a Sympathetic who tends to
42 Managing Sticky Situations at Worktoe the line nor a Technical who is overly cautious. Steve wants tolaunch the call center quickly, and he wants full credit for it, desiringto get a jump on everyone else out there. He demands that Cynthiasay nothing. His fast-acting, competitive style suggests a Bold personalitytype. An Expressive would be more interested in talking Cynthiainto doing what he wants—persuading her—rather than orderingher. Knowing she is dealing with a Bold personality, Cynthia can formulateher SIJR Conversation in a firm but clear manner.SAY IT JUST RIGHT CONVERSATIONCynthia goes into Steve’s office first thing the next morning. Shecloses the door and sits down. ‘‘I’ve been thinking about what youasked me to do. I’m very concerned that you put me in a positionbetween what you want and my job with firm management.’’ (Specifiesthe problem.)Steve pulls at his cuffs and straightens his tie. ‘‘Cynthia, you workfor me, not firm management. You’ve known that from the beginning.Even though we are all part of this institution, we are farremoved from firm management. Your role is to serve IT, not to servethe whims of upper management.’’‘‘I know my role. I also know that I cannot do what you’ve asked ofme. My job depends on building trust so we can incorporate our technologyup the line and throughout the company. I’m stunned thatyou want me to put all that aside.’’ (Join feeling with fact.)‘‘I’m asking you to do your job.’’‘‘Listen, Steve. You’re not asking me to do my job. You’re askingme to betray firm management and go back on my word. I’m curiousto learn from you what other options there might be? Surely this is notthe only way to launch the call center.’’ (Invite the other person totalk.)Steve shifts in his seat. ‘‘It’s the only way to do it quickly. We canjump through all the hoops and get firm management on board, butthat will take months. I want this done fast.’’‘‘Let’s look at some other options. Firm management knows aboutthe call center. They approved the concept weeks ago. We can go tothem and explain how we have to change the passwords to make thesystem work. I’ll put my best tech people on developing protectionsso we don’t compromise our data. I can get on that immediately.Look, Steve, we might not make your deadline, but if we go this route,
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
Page 12: AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
Page 15 and 16: xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
Page 17 and 18: xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
Page 20 and 21: Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
Page 22 and 23: The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
Page 36 and 37: Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
Page 38 and 39: Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
Page 40 and 41: Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Page 46: Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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Sticky Etiquette Situations 165Rita
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Her intent with this question was n
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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