Dissertation - World Federation of Music Therapy

have often discussed the issue you raise there with Ellen, saying e.g. ‘I am afraid this
doesn’t give much material for your project.’ Because it has been clear to me that it
has been about other issues – there haven’t been many references to cancer, so I have
been a little worried about the usefulness of my participation according to the purpose
of the project.
[And what was the purpose?] The purpose was – I hope – that you can document that
music therapy is effective with cancer patients, so that it can be a formalized element
in a treatment process. Maybe I don’t care a damn about you and your project. Maybe
I just wanted to contribute to that documentation. And then you could use it, too. But
the issues have been very existential, and so it is in my sessions with the psychologist,
and in the meditation. Even if I didn’t start any of these activities before I was sick.
[For some of you participants cancer has been in focus, for others not.]
There is probably a time dimension in that. If this had been a year ago, my answer
would have been different. I would not have had the amount of energy to concentrate
on anything else than cancer. I would not be correct to say that my focus has moved
away from cancer. It has become a basic condition of my life, and not a day passes by
without me thinking about it. If I say ‘cancer’ five times, I’ll start crying. So it is not
some sort of scale. It still takes a lot of space in my life, but I have some resources
now that enable me to see that there is more to life than cancer.
[What are your ideas about how to integrate music therapy in cancer treatment, then?]
I think I would have got the same out of it [if it had been earlier in the process], but
the issues would have been different. I guess they would have been closely connected
to having had cancer and my fear of relapse. My anxiety in connection with the
medical control – and, well, fear of death. A year ago I think music therapy could
have been a help to live the life, you face as a cancer patient – adjusting yourself to
your new life conditions. As time goes by it is easier for me to accept it, even if it
irritates me that there are many things I can’t do. (...) If it had been a year ago, it
would have been much more focused on cancer, at least verbally. And if it was a year
and a half ago, it could have helped me to come faster through convalescence. Today
it is rehabilitation - that is where it is in my present phase of life. But it does not
mean, that I need it less.
[One participant thought that music therapy might be to overwhelming in the early
phase, because the effect is so strong?] I can follow that, however I think it is a matter
of how music therapy is administered. Maybe it needs to be more directive, or maybe
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