Steven Pinker -- How the Mind Works - Hampshire High Italian ...

432 HOW THE MIND WORKSinvented by the troubadours of medieval Provence and consisted of theadulterous love of a knight for a married lady; that children used to bethought of as miniature adults; that in olden times children died so oftenthat mothers were unaffected by the loss; that concern for one's childrenis a recent invention. These beliefs are false. Blood really is thicker thanwater, and no aspect of human existence is untouched by that part of ourpsychology.Families are important in all societies, and their core is a mother and herbiological children. All societies have marriage. A man and a> womanenter a publicly acknowledged alliance whose primary goal is children;the man has a "right" of exclusive sexual access to the woman; and theyboth are obligated to invest in their children. The details vary, oftenaccording to the patterns of blood relationships in the society. Generally,when men can be confident that they are the fathers of their wives' children,nuclear families form, usually near the husband's extended kin. Inthe smaller number of societies where men are not so confident (forexample, when they are away for long stretches of military service orfarm labor), families live near the mother's kin, and children's principalmale benefactors are their closest blood relatives, their maternal uncles.Even then, biological fatherhood is recognized and valued. Both sides ofthe extended family take an interest in the marriage and the children,and the children feel solidarity with both sides, even when the officialrules of descent recognize only one side (as in our own surnames, whichare reckoned according to the father's family).Women fare better when they stay near their relatives and the menmove around, because they are surrounded by fathers, brothers, anduncles who can come to their aid in disputes with their husbands. Thedynamic was vividly enacted in The Godfather when the son of MarlonBrando's character, Sonny Corleone, nearly murdered his sister's husbandwhen he found out that the husband had battered her. Life imitatedart two decades later when the real-life son of Brando, ChristianBrando, did murder his sister's boyfriend when he found out that theboyfriend had battered her. When a woman has to leave home to livenear her husband's family, he can brutalize her with impunity. In manysocieties, marriages between cousins are encouraged, and the marriages