Steven Pinker -- How the Mind Works - Hampshire High Italian ...

Family Values . 475not hire themselves out as prostitutes; they may even hire prostitutesthemselves. In 1995, the actor Hugh Grant, arguably the world's handsomestman, was arrested for having oral sex with a prostitute in thefront seat of his car. The simple economic analysis fails here becausemoney and sex are not completely fungible. As we shall see, part of men'sattractiveness comes from their wealth, so the most attractive men don'tneed the money. And the "payment" that most women hope for is notcash but long-term commitment, which is a scarce resource even for thehandsomest and wealthiest man. The economics of the Hugh Grantaffair are well summed up by an exchange from another movie, based onthe story of Heidi Fleiss, the Hollywood madame. A call girl asks herfriend why her handsome tricks have to pay for sex. "They're not payingyou for the sex," the friend explains. "They're paying you to go away afterwards."Could it be that men learn to want sexual variety? Perhaps it is ameans to an end, the end being status in our society. The Don Juan isrevered as a dashing stud; the pretty woman on his arm is a trophy. Certainlyanything that is desirable and rare can become a status symbol.But that does not mean that all desirable things are pursued because theyare status symbols. I suspect that if men were given the hypotheticalchoice between clandestine sex with many attractive women and a reputationfor sex with many attractive women, but without the sex, theywould go for the sex. Not only because sex is incentive enough, butbecause a reputation for having sex is a disincentive. Don Juans do notinspire admiration, especially in women, though they may inspire envy inmen, a different and not always welcome reaction. Symons remarks,Human males appear to be so constituted that they resist learning not todesire variety despite impediments such as Christianity and the doctrineof sin; Judaism and the doctrine of mensch; social science and the doctrinesof repressed homosexuality and psychosexual immaturity; evolutionarytheories of monogamous pair-bonding; cultural and legaltraditions that support and glorify monogamy; the fact that the desire forvariety is virtually impossible to satisfy; the time and energy, and theinnumerable kinds of risk—physical and emotional—that variety-seekingentails; and the obvious potential rewards of learning to be sexually satisfiedwith one woman.A wandering eye, learned or not, is not the only component of a man'smind. Though desire often leads to behavior, it often does not, because,