Steven Pinker -- How the Mind Works - Hampshire High Italian ...

Family Values 489unfaithful and are asked which aspect of the betrayal bothers themmore. That shows that the sex difference is not just a matter of men andwomen having different expectations of their partners' behavior, the menworrying that a woman having sex must also be in love and the womenworrying that a man in love must also be having sex.) Buss then pastedelectrodes on people and asked them to imagine the two kinds of treachery.The men sweated, frowned, and palpitated more from images of sexualbetrayal; the women sweated, frowned, and palpitated more fromimages of emotional betrayal. (I cited the experiment in Chapter 4 as anillustration of the power of mental images.) Similar results have beenfound in several countries in Europe and Asia.It takes two to commit adultery, and men, always the more violentsex, have directed their anger at both parties. The largest cause ofspousal abuse and spousal homicide is sexual jealousy, almost always theman's. Men beat and kill their wives and girlfriends to punish them forreal or imagined infidelity and to deter them from becoming unfaithfulor leaving them. Women beat and kill their husbands in self-defense orafter years of abuse. Critics of feminism have made much of the occasionalstatistic that American men are victims of beating and homicideby their spouses almost as often as the women are. But that's not true inthe vast majority of communities, and even in the few where it is, thehusband's jealousy and intimidation are almost always the cause. Often amorbidly jealous man will imprison his wife in the house and interpretevery incoming phone call as proof that she is unfaithful. Women aremost at risk when they threaten to leave or do it. The forsaken man maystalk her, hunt her down, and execute her, always with the same rationale:"If I can't have her, no one can." The crime is pointless, but it is theundesired outcome of a paradoxical tactic, a doomsday machine. Forevery killing of an estranged wife or girlfriend there must be thousands ofthreats made credible by signs that the man is crazy enough to carrythem out regardless of the cost.Many pundits blame violence against women on this or that featureof American society, such as circumcision, war toys, James Bond, or football.But it happens worldwide, including in foraging societies. Amongthe Yanomamo, a man who suspects his wife of infidelity might slash herwith a machete, shoot her with an arrow, hold an ember against her, cutoff her ears, or kill her. Even among the idyllic !Kung San of the KalahariDesert in southern Africa, men batter wives they suspect of beingunfaithful. Incidentally, none of these points "condone" the violence or