Steven Pinker -- How the Mind Works - Hampshire High Italian ...

474 J HOW THE MIND WORKS.theory that they are instruments for oppressing women.) It's not that gaymen are oversexed; they are simply men whose male desires bounce offother male desires rather than off female desires. Symons writes, "I amsuggesting that heterosexual men would be as likely as homosexual mento have sex most often with strangers, to participate in anonymous orgiesin public baths, and to stop off in public restrooms for five minutes offellatio on the way home from work if women were interested in theseactivities. But women are not interested."Among heterosexuals, if men want variety more than women do,Econ 101 tells us what should follow. Copulation should be conceived ofas a female service, a favor that women can bestow on or withhold frommen. Scores of metaphors treat sex with a woman as a precious commodity,whether they take the woman's perspective {saving yourself, givingit away, feeling used) or the man's (getting any, sexual favors, gettinglucky). And sexual transactions often obey market principles, as cynics ofall persuasions have long recognized. The feminist theorist AndreaDworkin has written, "A man wants what a woman has—sex. He cansteal it (rape), persuade her to give it away (seduction), rent it (prostitution),lease it over the long term (marriage in the United States) Or own itoutright (marriage in most societies)." In all societies, it is mostly orentirely the men who woo, proposition, seduce, use love magic, give giftsin trade for sex, pay bride-prices (rather than collect dowries), hire prostitutes,and rape.Sexual economics, of course, also depends on the desirability of theindividuals, not just the average desires of the sexes. People "pay" forsex—in cash, commitment, or favors—when the partner is more desirablethan they are. Since women are more discriminating than men, theaverage man has to pay for sex with the average woman. An average mancan attract a higher-quality wife than casual sex partner (assuming that amarriage commitment is a kind of payment), whereas a woman canattract a higher-quality casual sex partner (who would pay nothing) thanhusband. The highest-quality men, in theory, should have a large numberof women willing to have sex with them. A cartoon by Dan Wassermanshows a couple leaving the theater after having seen Indecent Proposal.The husband says, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a milliondollars?" She replies, "Yes, but they'd have to give me some time to comeup with the money."The cartoonist's wit, though, exploits our sense of surprise. We don'texpect real life to work that way. The men most attractive to women do