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"If a Little Is Good—" Not Far Wrong
A SHY young man in an Ohio town had
been calling on "the sweetest girl in the world"
for many moons, but by reason of his bashfulness
his suit progressed slowly. Finally she
decided it was time to start something; so the
as *I jf A
next time he called she pointed to the rose
in the buttonhole of his coat and said:
"I'll give you a kiss for that rose."
A crimson flush overspread his countenance,
but the exchange was made after some hesitation
on his part. Then he grabbed his hat and
started to leave the room.
"Why, where are you going?" she asked in
surprise.
"To the—er—florist for more roses," he
called back from the door.
Devilish!
The train it is a wicked thing,
The engine smokes all day,
And drags along the chew-chew cars,
And tanks up by the way.
J*
Nothing Happened
THE cub reporter assigned to "cover" a local
wedding sauntered back into the editorial
rooms of his paper.
"Where's your 'story'?" called the impatient
city editor. "Hand it across!"
"Sorry!" said the cub, nonchalantly, "but
there was nothing to report! The bridegroom
never turned up!"
126
JAMES was halting and stammering his way
through a Latin translation, and the teacher
was deftly trying to assist his laggard memory.
"Sinister" was the word she wanted.
"Come, come, James," she urged. "You
know the Latin for 'left,' surely?"
James scratched his head for a moment, then
looked up triumphantly. "Spinster," he
offered.
J*
There Are Husbands and Husbands
THE YOUNG WIFE—"Some women don't like
to have a husband hang around the house all
the time, evening after evening. I'm sure I
don't mind it, do you ?"
HER MARRIED FRIEND—"Whose husband?"
Caution
"ARE you going to Mrs. Tyresum-Clymer's
dinner?"
"No. I have a subsequent engagement."
"A subsequent engagement ?"
"Yes. One that I made as soon as I heard
Mrs. Tyresum-Clymer was going to give a
dinner."
J*
Paid in Full
DONALD and four grown-up relatives attended
divine service one Sunday morning.
Donald selected the aisle seat, and when the
contribution-plate was passed deposited in it
the combined offerings of his family. The
vestryman, not realizing this, moved as though
to pass the plate to the others in the pew,
when he was arrested by a highly pitched, distinctly
audible stage whisper announcing:
"I paid for five."