m*- w - Clpdigital.org

BLOWING
The Modest Camera
SHE—"How'd that picture come out that
you took of Miss Blazer in her bathing suit?"
HE—"Not so good."
SHE—"What was the trouble?"
HE—"Too much exposure."
SHE—"Oh !"
Her Definition
FIRST GIRL—"I can't just recall what a fugue
is. Do you know?"
SECOND GIRL—"Certainly! It's one of those
horrible family quarrels that Southerners
carry on through generations."
Ice-Boating
_ SHE (painfully modest)—"My-er-extremities
are cold."
HE (solicitous)—"Pull your hockey cap
down over them.
J*
Catastrophe
AN old negro was riding on the train and
fell asleep with mouth wide open. A mischievous
drummer came along, and, having a
convenient capsule of quinine in his pocket, he
uncorked it and sifted it well on the old
negro's palate and the root of his tongue.
The old darky, awakening, became much disturbed.
He called for the conductor and
asked: 'Boss, is there a doctor on this here
train?"
"I don't know," said the conductor. "Are
you sick?"
"Yes, sir, I sure am sick. I sure am sick."
"What's the matter with you?"
"I dunno, sir; but it tastes like I busted my
OFF STEAM
Making the Best of It
HE—"Here's a Jersey justice declares that
bathers must wear stockings. Now what?"
SHE (glancing at shapely ankle)—"Oh, I'll
grin and bare it."
Just Four Words
IN a big elementary school a teacher had
given a lesson in an infants' class on the Ten
Commandments. In order to test their memories
she asked: "Can any little child give
me a Commandment with only four words in
it?"
A hand was raised immediately.
||You may answer, John," said the teacher.
"Keep off the grass," was the reply.
Dead Give-Away
"I THINK," she said, "that he has deceived
us all. I don't think he is anything more than
a clerk."
"Why?"
"Because right in the middle of a proposal
last night his mind wandered, and he said:
'You could wear a size smaller without any
trouble at all'."
J*
Very Much the Same
WHEN Lincoln was still an insignificant
country lawyer he had occasion to travel to
a small town to take charge of a case. It
was a drive of some fourteen miles from the
railroad station to the town inn where he was
to spend the night. Wet and chilled to the
bone he arrived at last, but to his dismay
found only a small fire built in the grate, while
standing about it, so as to exclude the heat
from the traveler, were the other lawyers interested
in the case.
At length one of the group turned to Lincoln.
"Pretty cold, eh?" he asked.
• "X es :" r , e P lied Lincoln, "as cold as it is hot
in Hades.
"Ever been to Hades, stranger?" asked another.
"Yes," replied Lincoln solemnly.
This raised a faint smile among the other
lawyers.
"What does it look like there?" they asked
Very much like this," said Lincoln dryly
ail the lawyers nearest the fire."