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WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF
THAT?
By F. E. M ASHBURN
THERE has probably never
been a compiler of statistics
so enthusiastic as to make a
specialty of counting up the
value of jewels that have
been lost on wash-stands in a year, but
the amount probably is very large. The
loser states "why I just put my rings
there while I washed my hands, and I
can't understand how I forgot them."
Instead of laying down your rings, take
a hairpin out of your hair, slip the rings
on it, and pin them securely in your hair,
where you can see them in the mirror,
until you are ready to wear them again.
* * *
There is no reason why a child as
soon as it understands anything at all,
should dislike a doctor, that is, a good
doctor. But even some good doctors
manage to get disliked by hordes of
little children when they stick spoons
down their throats so that they can examine
their tonsils, and in the case of
babies, it is an especially insulting thing
to pry open their mouths, because they
simply refuse to straighten out their
tongues or open their mouths wide
enough for a thorough examination.
There is a way of getting around this
insulting treatment to the little ones.
Drop some honey on the tip of the child's
chin, and get him to lick it off. The
process of licking it off gives a good,
unhurried view of a straight, extended
tongue; the mouth opens so wide that
there is a good view of the tonsils and
back of the throat.
* * *
If you have ever gone on an automobile
trip and collided with a peddler,'a
wagon, or another automobile, and have
been innocent of the fault which caused
4 u
the accident—for instance if the other
party hugged the wrong side of the
road—you surely have wished for witnesses.
But most of the time, there are
no witnesses in these cases, outside of
the principals. To make sure of winning
your case and proving your innocence,
take a camera along on any and every
trip, and have it always ready. If the
camera does not serve its purpose in the
court room, the case never coming to
court, it at least prevents blackmail.
* * *
Women always seem to be having
trouble about the mechanism of their
sewing, crocheting, and knitting. The
spools are always running around where
they shouldn't. Just wd:y some enterprising
young man has not invented a square
spool is a mystery. There is absolutely
no reason at all for spools being round,
that is, the top and bottom of the spool.
One woman, as soon as she gets a spool
of thread pastes a square bit of cardboard
to one or both ends, and she is never
troubled with her thread rolling under
the couch. This woman believes also in
using every inch of crochet cotton and
knitting wool, for she took an ordinary
ten-cent funnel turned upside down, and
brought the wool out through the neck.
* * *
Every person of both sexes has also
lost a few drams of temper trying to
bore a hole through leather in a hurry.
One woman was having an awful time
trying to put a hole in her machine strap,
to loosen it. The instructor for the
sewing machine company came in a short
while later after the job was given up
by the lady, and she simply heated a hat
pin until it was red hot, and then ran it
through the leather.