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The Lowest Office
"Boss," SAID Ras Lightfoot the other day,
T gota git off tomorroh."
"Get off tomorrow?"
"Yessah."
"But I can't spare you very well."
"I gota go. It's lodge business."
"That new lodge you joined?"
"Yessah."
"Why are you so badly needed at the meeting?"
"Ah am de sublime king."
"You have been a member of that lodge
only two weeks and tell me you are sublime
king already."
"Yessah."
"How does that come?"
"You see, sah, in ouah lodge de sublime
king am de lowes' office what dey is."
Jt
XXX Golf
PHYLLIS—"Does he golf much?"
ROSALIND—"A lot—one can always smell it
on his breath !"
Much Married
SHE—"The fortune teller says I'll marry
brains, beauty and money."
HE—"Why, you darned she Mormon !"
606
Many Do the Same
BULL—"How many cigs d'ye smoke a day?"
DURHAM—"Any given number."
The Streak in the Stripes
"Do YOU think there is a yellow peril in
America?"
"Yes; but we call it being 'undesirous of
leaving our sweethearts unprotected'."
She Was Out of It
OLD Zeb Jackson, the champion whitewasher,
walked down the main street of the village
one morning, dressed in his best suit, with a
large, brilliant buttonhole bouquet, and with
cotton gloves on his big hands.
"Hello, Zeb," said the postman; "are you
taking a holiday?"
"Dish yere," said the old man with a proud
wave of his huge hand, "dish yere am mah
golding wedding university, sah. Ah'm celebratin'
hit."
"But your wife," said the postman, "is
working as usual. I saw her at the washtub
as I passed your house."
"Her?" said Zeb hotly. "She ain't got
nuffin' er do wif hit. She's mah fou'th."
Not the Right Puppies
DORIS' father raised chickens, and Doris
understood all about setting hens. One day
she was taken to see the new litter of puppies.
They were curly black balls cuddled
down beside a smooth tan mother.
"Are those really Emmy Lou's puppies?"
Doris asked.
"Yes, dear," she was told.
"Well, then," she remarked in a disgusted
tone, "she couldn't have sat on her own eggs."