SEXIS WRONG

today than ever before, especially to women. And some of
these toys and materials may be used by people who are
enhancing their masturbation practice as an alternative to
partner-sex, with its attendant real or imagined dangers. One
of the high points of First Person Sexual is Anne Semans’
description of discovering a vibrator for the first time, personifying
it in this way: “I caught my first glimpse of her lying
heated and spent on the bed. I approached curious and mystified:
she was so small! I’d heard rumors about her incredible
amorous powers, but she didn’t look anything
like I’d imagined.”
It is also possible, however, that many of those
who fear and therefore avoid partner-sex may
masturbate significantly less than they did
previously. Some of the men and women contributing
to First Person Sexual didn’t want sex
with a partner and might have felt that masturbating
would turn them on and leave them
frustrated. Others found that masturbation brought up feelings
of loneliness. Still others simply felt so “shut down”
sexually that they rarely experienced any desire for arousal
or orgasm.
To the extent that people are having less partner-sex, men
may be masturbating more and women less. For tunately,
most people seem to be masturbating as much as they always
have, and increasingly, couples are making touching
themselves in each other’s presence a regular part of their
lovemaking.
about their own sexuality often express themselves very
well. Those who wrote for First Person Sexual didn’t disappoint
me in that regard.
A half-dozen of the stories in my book were originally written
in the third person; in each case, I asked the author to
rewrite his or her piece in the first person. Although a few
expressed fear of doing so, all obliged, and I was pleased
with how much more immediate and personal their stories
became. Several contributors agreed that readers would be
Women who masturbate are
often willing and eager to try new
positions, locations, and techniques
for their masturbation, while adult
men commonly masturbate pretty
much the same way they did
as adolescents.
able to identify with them more easily now that their stories
were in the first person.
For some reason, it didn’t occur to me that the stories in my
book would be sexually arousing to readers. So I was pleasantly
surprised to find how many of them were.
Thea Hillman, in the first piece in the book, “Home Alone,”
offers us this surprising intimacy: “I love the sounds I’ve
been hearing lately, that no one taught me to make—funny,
awkward, deep sounds that come from my belly and from my
clit. Sounds…that sound exactly like me.”
Only three or four of the stories in First Person Sexual are
fiction. I didn’t identify which they were because it doesn’t
mat ter. Well over half the authors were not professional writers;
a few virtually tore pages out of their journals. My experience
suggests that people who are willing to share writings
At its best—and even at its worst—masturbation is “having
sex with someone you love” (a thought attributed to Woody
Allen). So, from time to time, we might all apply Good Vibrations’
slogan: “If you want something done right, do it yourself.”
FIRST PERSON SEXUAL 101