SEXIS WRONG

ters,” neither enchanted nor repulsed by members of the opposite
sex. Buddha kept his promise and returned to see his
Queen Yaśodharā and their son, Rāhula. In a marvelous display
of pique, Yaśodharā refused to go to the palace gate to greet
her ex-husband. “If he really is noble,” she told her father-inlaw,
the king, “he will come to my presence. Then I shall pay
my respects.” And, in fact, it was the Buddha who made the
first move. 39 Yaśodharā, dressed in bright raiment and jewels,
made a final attempt to win Gotama back, but it was too late.
According to pious tradition, both Yaśodharā and Rāhula entered
the Buddha’s Order of Celi bates and lived happily ever
after. There is, however, other evi dence that suggests that
Yaśodharā remained aloof, acting as her own refuge, not entirely
forgiving Gotama’s abrupt abandonment of their marriage
bed. 40
One text states that upon Gotama’s
enlighten ment, the earth shook like
a woman in the throes of bliss—an
all-embracing cosmic orgasm that
transformed human consciousness.
Looking at the story of Gotama in allegorical terms, we can see
that it represents ultimates. In the palace, Gotama had access
to every kind of physical pleasure (of which sex was preeminent).
Such extreme luxury, however, brought him no peace of
mind; on the contrary, Gotama discovered that sybaritic indulgence
is a deadly narcotic that eventually destroys body and
soul. From that extreme, Gotama went to another. All stimulation
was shunned and sensual feelings or thoughts ruthlessly
suppressed. Shutting out the phenomenal world, depriving
oneself of every comfort or en joyment, and remaining in a
state of suspended animation was the goal. This method, too,
leads to destruction, as Gotama learned nearly at the cost of
his life.
After being immersed in both extremes, Gotama was awakened
to the Middle Way, a centered path that leads safely
through the poles of all-consuming fiery passion and the frigid
depths of ascetic self-torture. While Buddha continued to
eat, taking food as medicine, essential for the maintenance of
life, sex was entirely dis pensed with. Buddha, who had his fill
of sex as Gotama the prince, thus represents a state beyond
physical craving; bud (awake), the root of “Buddha,” is neuter, a
condition free of both gender and sex. In that respect Buddha
ranks infinitely higher than the gods—sooner or later even the
delights of paradise corrupt the inhabitants there and they fall
again into the whirl of samsara.
Although Buddha’s lofty asexuality was held as the ultimate
hu man goal, it was an ideal that few could—or, it must be admitted,
would want to—attain, and the problem of sex and
how to deal with it remained a sticky issue for each generation
of Buddhists.
Endnotes
1. Material in this chapter is a composite drawn from the following sources. Pali
texts: I.B. Horner, The Collection of Middle Length Sayings, 3 vols. (London: Pali
Text Society, 1979); C.A.F. Rhys Davids and F.L. Woodward, The Book of Kindred
Sayings, 5 vols. (London: Pali Text Society, 1979); T.W. Rhys Davids and C.A.F. Rhys
Davids, Dialogues of the Buddha, 3 vols. (London: Pali Text Society, 1977); F.L.
Woodward and E.M. Hare, The Book of Gradual Sayings, 5 vols. (London: Pali
Text Society, 1979); I.B. Horner, Book of the Discipline, 6 vols. (London: Pali Text
Society, 1982); T.W. Rhys Davids and H. Oldenberg, Vinaya Texts, 3 vols. (Delhi:
Motilal Banarsidass, 1968 reprint); E.W. Burlingame, Buddhist Legends, 3 vols.
(London: Pali Text Society, 1969). Classical biographies of the Buddha: G. Bays,
The Voice of the Buddha: Lalitavistara Sutra, 2 vols. (Berkeley: Dharma Publishing,
1983); S. Beal, Fo-Sho-Hing-Tsan-King: A Life of Buddha (Delhi: Motilal
Banarsidass, reprint 1968); S. Beal, The Romantic Legend of Śākya Bud dha (Delhi:
Motilal Banarsidass, reprint, 1985); E.H. Johnston, The Buddhacarita or Acts
of the Buddha (Delhi: Motilal Banarsidass, 1984); J.J. Jones, The Mahāvastu, 3
vols. (London: Pali Text Society, 1973); N. Poppe, The Twelve Deeds of Buddha
(Wiesbaden: Otto Harrassowitz, 1967); W.W. Rockwell, The Life of Buddha (London:
Trubner’s Oriental Series, 1884). Pictorial biographies: J. Auboyer, et al.,
Buddha: A Pictorial History of His Life and Legacy (New Delhi: Roli Books International,
1983); N.J. Krom, The Life of Buddha on the Stupa of Barabudur (Delhi:
Bhartiya Publishing House, 1974). Modern biographies: A. Coomaraswamy, Buddha
and the Gospel of Buddhism (Secaucus, N.J.: Citadel Press, 1988); A. Foucher,
The Life of Buddha (Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press, 1963); P. Herbert, The
Life of the Buddha (London: British Museum, 1990). D.J. Kalupahana and I. Kalupahana,
The Way of Siddhartha: A Life of the Buddha (Boulder:
Shambhala Publications, 1983); A. Lillie, The Life of Buddha
(Delhi: Seema Publications, 1974); Nanamoli, The Life of
the Buddha (Kandy: Buddhist Publication Society, 1972); H.
Nakamura, Gotama Buddha (Los Angeles & Tokyo: Buddhist
Books International, 1977); E.J. Thomas, The Life of Buddha
as Legend and History (London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, reprint
1969). There is also a novel on the subject by W.E. Barrett,
Lady of the Lotus: The Untold Love Story of The Buddha
and His Wife (Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1975). 2. See, for
example, Bays, Voice of the Buddha, vol. 1: 42; Beal, Roman tic Legend: 32; Thomas,
Life of Buddha: 29. 3. Bays, Voice of the Buddha, vol. 1: 44-5; Jones,
Mahāvastu, vol. 2: 7ff. 4. The Mahāvastu states that the Buddha deliberately
incarnates himself into the womb of a woman who has only ten months and
seven days to live because it would not be proper for her to “indulge in the pleasures
of love after giving birth to a Peerless One” (vol. 2: 3). 5. This description of
Gotama is based on the 32 distinguishing marks of a Buddha. See Bays, Voice of
the Buddha, vol. 1: 155ff.; Beal, Romantic History: 55; Rhys Davids and Rhys Davids,
Dialogues of the Buddha, vol. 3: 138ff.; Jones, Mahāvastu, vol. 1: 180-1;
Thomas, Life of Buddha: 220-1, which lists both the 32 major and 80 minor characteristics
of a Buddha. For further information on Buddha’s physical form, see
D.L. Snellgrove, ed., The Image of the Buddha (Tokyo: Kodansha International,
1978). 6. The Chinese texts (e.g., Beal, Fo-Sho-Hing-Tsan-King: 14) state that
Buddha’s sex organs were hidden like those of a stallion. According to the Tibetan
tradition, the Dalai Lamas are supposed to possess a simi lar ability to “retract”
their sex organs; see M. Aris, Hidden Treasures and Secret Lives (Delhi:
Motilal Banarsidass, 1988): 197. 7. In Buddha’s time, there were “public days” in
which unmarried girls, who were normally sequestered, would promenade
through the town in hopes of capturing the fancy of a young man. See H.C. Warren,
Buddhism in Translation (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1986): 455.
8. Jones, Mahāvastu, vol. 2: 70; Krom, plate 48. 9. Beal, Romantic Legend: 92.
Plate 19 in W. Zwalf, Buddhism: Art and Faith (London: British Museum Publications,
1985) seems to depict a wedding scene of Gotama and one of his wives.
10. Bays, Voice of the Buddha, vol. 1: 235-6: Krom, plate 55. 11. Thomas, Life of
Buddha: 48ff., discusses the different names given Buddha’s wives. 12. Beal, Romantic
Legend: 96ff. 13. This exchange occurs in T. Cleary, The Flower Ornament
Scripture (Boston: Shambhala Publications, 1987): 284-8. 14. For examples
of lush Buddhist beauties see S. Huntington and J. Huntington, The Art of Ancient
India (Tokyo: John Weatherhill, 1987); G. Michael, et al., In the Image of
Man (London: Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 1982); P. Rawson, Erotic Art of the East
(New York: G.P. Put nam’s Sons, 1968); Oriental Erotic Art (London: Quartet Books,
338 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS WRONG