SEXIS WRONG

Cunt Candy Factory
Tristan Taormino
I owned Juli Ashton’s ass and pussy—I spanked her cheeks,
teased and probed her two orifices—before I ever met her.
Let me clarify: I had Juli Ashton’s Ultra-Realistic Pussy &
Ass, a rubber replica of the famed pornstar’s private parts,
before I saw said star in the flesh. After her career on film,
she went on to cohost Night Calls on Playboy TV and Radio,
which she’s done for ten years. When I first met Juli, I already
felt I had a connection to her. After all, her rubber-genital self
accompanied me around the country to dozens of workshops
and lectures. When I couldn’t have a real, live model, I always
had Juli on (in?) which to demonstrate techniques. She
brought my sex education to life.
In March 2005, the real Juli took me to the headquarters of
Doc Johnson, one of the world’s leading sex-toy manufacturers.
I was expecting one huge factory, but it was more of a
Rarely do people ask themselves,
“Where do dildos come from?”
We visited that very department, where designers had recently
taken plaster casts of the pusses of four starlets: Lexie,
Monique Alexander, and newcomer twins Lacey and Lyndsey
Love. From the plaster cast a mold is created, explained
Braverman. “We really try to make it as close to the real thing
as possible.” The four plaster cunts sat in a circle, but they
weren’t labeled, so I wasn’t sure who was whom.
I noticed that a small, stray piece of plaster sat next to one.
One of the workers said, “She had one very large labia. I had
to fold it over her opening to make the cast, and it broke.” To
demonstrate, he carefully—dare I say lovingly?—placed the
piece of plaster where it should be. “I’m going to reattach
it before I make the mold,” he said, and his statement was
strangely sweet. Braverman informed Juli that they’ve improved
the technology and the process, which only takes thirty
minutes from start to finish. Juli considered
doing a special tenth-anniversary pussy and
ass as we walked over to the next building.
compound, with multiple buildings all buzzing with activity
in North Hollywood. I got a tour from the president himself,
Ron Braverman, who proudly proclaimed, “We were the first
company to manufacture and market butt plugs.” My hero!
Doc Johnson makes over 5,000 different products, including
vibrators, penis pumps, lube, blindfolds, and anti-porn crusader
Catherine MacKinnon’s worst nightmare: disembodied
replicas of pornstars’ famous bits (like Jeff Stryker’s cock and
Jenna Jameson’s cooch). It hit me when I saw the recognizable
crotch creations: I was visiting the place that created,
and still churns out, Juli Ashton’s Ultra-Realistic Pussy & Ass,
and I was there with Juli. Life had come full circle.
From there it was a whirlwind of sex-toy production. I can’t
adequately describe the sight of copper cock molds moving
swiftly along a conveyor belt, of toys being pulled from those
molds and tossed into a cold-water bath to cool, of sparkling
pink jelly dongs laid out in a row, of fat, baby-blue butt plugs
waiting patiently to be put into their custom-designed packages.
Or the area where certain toys (known as “the realistics”)
get a personal touch: hand painting. Here, women gingerly
brush pink dye onto cockheads and pussy lips and clits
(to mimic the engorgement process during arousal) or draw
bluish veins on peach-colored shafts. The color looked garish,
but Braverman assured me that as it gets absorbed into the
material, it fades and looks more natural.
82 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS WRONG