SEXIS WRONG

ées other than workshops given by masturbation guru Betty
Dodson and occasional reunions of Dodson alumnae. Again,
we don’t know if fewer women than men have gotten together
just for masturbation, or if they simply have not written
much about it—perhaps both.
But I did read about some mixed-gender sex parties that focused
on sharing self-help:
Mother Goose (Delores) spearheads these monthly
gatherings...and tells me, “The folks that come to
our events range from 18 to 80.... Men and women
all together in the same space at the same time—
some gay, some lesbian, crossdressers. Some bring
leather, some only want to watch, some are showoffs.
We are all dedicated to Jacking and Jilling.
Some do massage, some whip the daylights out
of each other, some do dirty dancing, etc.” There
are some simple rules: no fucking, no unprotected
sex, no rude behavior. (CTS, 1995)
~
Club Relate is a club for people that enjoy and include
masturbation in their sex play and desire
meeting other people in a party setting for group
masturbation.... Currently, the Club’s parties are
held three Saturdays per month in
Orlando and Tampa…. Swinging and/
or penetration is an option among consenting
participants...[but] the primary
reason for Club Relate’s existence is
masturbation. (Club Relate website, 2005)
~
[T]he Center for Sex and Culture will hold its
fourth annual fund-raising Masturbate-a-Thon on
May 28…. [T]he CSC’s Masturbate-a-Thon is a live
group event at which participants will raise funds
by getting others to sponsor them for each minute
they masturbate…. Separate areas…will be set
aside for men who would prefer to masturbate together
and women who want a single-sex space,
with the rest of the room a mixed-gender venue….
(Masturbate-a-Thon.com, 2005)
The San Francisco Mother Goose parties began in 1987 as
an enlargement of the “jacks” concept. These parties appear
to have ceased, but their function has been subsumed by the
more general sex parties, such as the Queen of Heaven parties,
which have stressed safer sex, eclectic attendance, and a
variety of activities, from masturbation to fisting. On the East
Coast, the all-male New York Jacks held a mixed-gender Jack
and Jill Party for at least several years in the 1990s. By contrast,
Club Relate grew out of the swingers’ movement, from
the large responses to one couple’s advertisements for others
interested in sharing masturbation. Club Relate is a member of
NASCA—North American Swing Clubs Association.
The San Francisco sex-toy company Good Vibrations started
the Masturbate-a-Thons in 1998 to raise funds for safer-sex
causes and to educate the public about using self-pleasuring
as a safe-sex strategy. The first live, group version was organized
by Carol Queen, founder of the Center for Sex and Culture,
in 2000. Over the years, 1,700 participants have “come
for a cause” and raised over $25,000.
Since by no means all swinging takes place in formal, organized
groups, there might well be small, informal, mixedgender
masturbation circles besides Club Relate. Judging
from ads on the Internet, a good many heterosexual men are
interested in sharing masturbation with women. But only a
few women seem to advertise on the Net for either male or
female masturbation companions.
So I’ve concluded that sharing masturbation has long been
an enjoyed activity for at least some men, perhaps not a
few. But only recently have groups organized and gone public—male-only
and coed. The sexual revolution, the gay rights
Some men show off solo,
while others go at it together in
pairs and clusters.
movement, the AIDS epidemic, and the Xerox machine have
surely all contributed to a more open milieu for an historically
undercover activity. And now the Internet allows wannabes
to find out about JO and JJO clubs, as well as contact each
other for private gatherings and even to start new clubs.
One needs to experience this activity (first hand)
to understand just how satisfying it can be. At
least part of the satisfaction has to be the knowing
that transmission of disease has not been risked.
Also, I assume that some of the participants are
in relationships to which their significant others
are unaware and unapproving of their partners’
actions. This is the efficient solution for the man
who wants dalliance. Having his cake but not coming
home with crumbs in his stash. (“Ask Isadora”
website, 2002)
Although the sex scholars hadn’t picked up on adult group
masturbation, a few anthropological writers have mentioned
it in different cultures. In the US today, adult group masturbation
has mostly earned notice only by gay and lesbian writers
of sex manuals, advice books, and journalistic accounts.
THE CIRCLE GAME 95