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with angry tattoos. These souvenirs from my troubled youth<br />
were poorly executed. Not “apprentice at Wicked Ink” bad.<br />
Not “my friend Jason does tattoos” bad. Not “cheesy flash”<br />
bad. Not even “prison” bad. These tattoos were somewhere<br />
in the vicinity of “ink pen and Exacto knife” bad.<br />
I recently decided to get my tattoos fixed. So far I’m satisfied<br />
with the results. But when my favorite tattoo artist, Mark Van<br />
Ness, told me, “They’ll need to be continually touched up for<br />
the rest of your life,” I realized that tattoos are just like breast<br />
implants.<br />
I got my bad tattoo jobs when I was too young to understand<br />
their everlasting ramifications. And most of America’s pornstars<br />
get bad boob jobs when they’re too young to realize the<br />
same thing.<br />
Fake tits and tattoos have so much in common. They’re both<br />
body modifications that fit certain social paradigms. They can<br />
both be badly done. They both require continual maintenance.<br />
They both change the way that people look at you. They can<br />
both cause regret. They both wear with age. They’re both<br />
costly and painful to remove. And we usually get them when<br />
our bodies are still blooming.<br />
That’s why I have empathy for young girls who get boob jobs<br />
in order to let the world know that they’re hardcore pornstars.<br />
I can’t judge these women, even if I think their tits look like<br />
shit. They’d think the same thing about my tattoos. If I could<br />
go back and choose not to get tattoos, I would. But they’re<br />
marks of my past, and because of that, I’m fond of them.<br />
Sometimes I wonder if the porn veterans feel the same way<br />
about their old, bad boob jobs.<br />
—<br />
6:45 – 7:15 p m : Drive home and consider your day. Think<br />
about how weird your job is and how much you enjoy<br />
it. Think about the way your family and friends see it.<br />
Think about how much money you’re not making and<br />
how much money you would be making if you decided<br />
to become a pornstar. Think about why you work in porn<br />
and how much longer you will. Think about how much<br />
porn you watch at work. Think about how much porn<br />
you masturbate to. Think about how fucked up the adult<br />
industry is, and why. Think about how sexually fucked<br />
America is and what it would take to change this. Think<br />
about coming home and writing about it. Then think<br />
about normal shit, like eating enchiladas, doing laundry,<br />
hanging out with your boyfriend, and talking to your<br />
friends and family on the phone.<br />
I love this job. I love how weird it is. I love the challenge of<br />
selling something that simultaneously arouses and threatens<br />
people. I love being fascinated and appalled by the adult industry.<br />
I love the way that people react when I tell them how<br />
I’ve put my college degree to work. I love that my family and<br />
friends both support and worry about what I do. I love being<br />
a chick who gets off on watching and working in porn. I love<br />
learning about the history of American porn, and I love keeping<br />
an eye on where it’s headed.<br />
What I don’t love is America’s sexually schizophrenic attitude<br />
towards the people who work in sex. We can argue that the<br />
adult industry is misogynistic, belittling, sick, unnatural, violent,<br />
and completely fucked up. But we don’t argue much<br />
while we’re using its products.<br />
What really pisses me off is that the adult industry—burlesque<br />
troupes, strip clubs, escort services, prostitution, sex<br />
clubs, porn, and every other business that revolves around<br />
compensated erotic service—is also the one that adults<br />
against selling sex as a commodity condemn the most. Even<br />
if their most adamant critics don’t participate in any of these<br />
services, which I think they do, I guarantee that they’re at<br />
least fantasizing about one of them.<br />
That makes them hypocrites. But that doesn’t make them<br />
entirely wrong.<br />
If you look beyond the people fucking on your TV screen,<br />
you’ll see the reality of what happens behind the porn scenes.<br />
The physical job hazards are high: HIV, herpes, warts, gonorrhea,<br />
yeast infections, vaginal bleeding, anal tearing, enemas<br />
and douche bottles, and lots of Viagra. Meth, coke, Vicodin,<br />
Valium, OxyContin, weed, and booze are popular self-medications<br />
for the mental stress that pornstars deal with on and<br />
off the set. Although it has great perks, being a good pornstar<br />
is actually a very tough job.<br />
I have tremendous respect for the people who can handle it. I<br />
believe sex workers should be valued by the billions of people<br />
who buy their products. They work in a harsh cultural climate<br />
where they’re belittled and denounced by the same people<br />
who jack off to their work. America’s sexual schizophrenia<br />
is harmful as hell. This hypocrisy takes place inside the adult<br />
industry as well, which is even worse.<br />
—<br />
7:15 – present: Arrive home.<br />
Oh, America. It’s a good thing we’re free. You know, to do as<br />
we please.<br />
184 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS <strong>WRONG</strong>
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