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But you would be surprised by how many times these guys<br />
sneak their desire for cock into a scenario. I once was asked<br />
to spin a fantasy about slipping a Mickey into a guy’s drink<br />
at a party and then “having my way” with him. So I did—I<br />
dragged him into a spare bedroom and made him lick my<br />
pussy, suck my toes, and so on and so forth. But clearly, he<br />
wanted more. Someone to watch, perhaps. So I told him the<br />
bedroom door was ajar and that anyone could see inside.<br />
“Like your boyfriend? Maybe he wants to join in?” he suggested.<br />
A-ha. Soon enough, boyfriend was fucking me, too,<br />
then suddenly the guy was licking my boyfriend’s cock as it<br />
slid in and out of me. And soon after, just like in a porn movie,<br />
imaginary boyfriend had to pull out and come—all over this<br />
guy’s face.<br />
single one of these guys wants to be made up like a slut,<br />
taken out to a bar or a club, and get picked up and taken home<br />
by a guy who’ll fuck them up the ass.<br />
I find these fantasies hard to narrate sometimes, because<br />
they mess with my ideas about continuity. Because, follow<br />
along with me here, they want me, their new best friend, to<br />
get them dressed up and tell them how pretty they look and<br />
then accompany them to the bar or wherever, where they<br />
get picked up by a guy and taken home. Presumably I’m still<br />
sitting at the bar, right? So how can I tell what’s going on in<br />
this guy’s hotel room or apartment or wherever he’s taken my<br />
crossdressing friend? Oh, well. This is where being a writer<br />
gets you in trouble, because nobody cares about those details<br />
except me.<br />
Or here’s another one. I got a call from a guy who told me that<br />
his fantasy was about watching his girlfriend fuck another guy.<br />
She had met this guy at a party (aren’t parties fun?), and he<br />
could tell that she was really hot for him, and ever since then<br />
he’d had a fantasy about surprising them in the bathroom at<br />
the party. So I narrate a little of that for him, and he’s peering<br />
in through the crack in the bathroom door.<br />
I say, “I bet they know you’re there. Would you like to go<br />
inside? Do you want to join in?” He sighs with<br />
relief and tells me yes. So he’s inside, watching<br />
the guy fuck his girlfriend.<br />
“He’s going to fuck her up the ass for the first<br />
time,” he tells me.<br />
Now keep in mind, these are all heterosexual men. They<br />
found my number in the back of a magazine like Gallery or<br />
Hustler, so presumably in most cases they were looking at<br />
pictures of naked women shortly before they called me. They<br />
want to talk to a girl about sucking a guy’s cock or dressing up<br />
like a slut and taking it up the ass. They could’ve called a gay<br />
chat line, but they didn’t; they called me. They want a warm,<br />
More than half of my customers end<br />
up telling me, by the end of our 10, 20,<br />
30 minutes together, how much they<br />
want to suck cock.<br />
“Oh, you must be so hot watching her beg for that cock up<br />
her ass for the first time,” I say. “She’s never let you do this,<br />
but she’s going to let him, and you get to see it.”<br />
“Yeah,” he says. “I wonder how it feels.”<br />
“I bet you’re wondering how it would feel to have that cock<br />
up your ass,” I suggest. Sure enough, he just about blows his<br />
wad right then.<br />
“You’re good,” he says admiringly, afterwards.<br />
Sometimes I tell them I like to watch two guys get it on together,<br />
which is true. They’re always amazed. “Really?” Like<br />
I just made it up to get them off. Like it’s too good to be true.<br />
But it is true. “Sure, just like some guys like watching two<br />
girls together,” I say, trying to normalize the situation a little<br />
bit. Usually, that’s all the permission they need, and next I get<br />
an earful of exactly what they’d like to do with a guy if I was<br />
watching.<br />
If it’s not cocksuckers, it’s crossdressers. And do you remember<br />
when we were told that just because a guy likes dressing<br />
up as a woman, it doesn’t mean he actually wants to have sex<br />
with a man? That may be true, but not of my clients. Every<br />
friendly, female voice to walk them through the scary corners<br />
of their own sex fantasy life—i.e., the ones that are filled with<br />
men, with waiting cock.<br />
Because I’m a girl, I must know about cock, right? So I’m the<br />
perfect, safe guide. And I really am! I always think, boy, they<br />
lucked out—if they only knew how okay I am with guys who<br />
are into guys. If only I could tell them about my cocksucker<br />
magnet. But I’m afraid that would frighten them off. For some<br />
reason, each one of them wants to think that he’s the only<br />
one with this frightening, slightly shameful, but oh-so-compelling<br />
fantasy. It makes him unique. But he’s not. They’re<br />
steady business.<br />
Sometimes I wonder: What if they knew? If they had any<br />
notion about how common their fantasy is, how would that<br />
change them? How would it change the world? For one thing,<br />
it would dispel this myth about men’s rigid, predefined sexuality.<br />
I know that my sampling is not scientific or even statistically<br />
significant, but it does say something. There are more closet<br />
cocksuckers than you think. And for some reason, they all<br />
want to confess to me.<br />
COCKSUCKER MAGNET 121
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