SEXIS WRONG

Answers
M. Christian
“San Francisco Sex Information, can I help you?”
If you’ve been on the phones, like me, you’ve heard a lot, and
even if they sometimes fall into obvious categories, you really
don’t have any idea who the next caller will be: a woman
who has never had an orgasm, a little boy who wants to know
what a blowjob is, an older man who wants to step out of
the closet and meet other men, a fetish dresser who wants
someplace to buy shoes, someone who wants to learn how
to have anal sex, or someone else who wants to know how
to find his prostate.
San Francisco Sex Information is where those who don’t
know can call to talk to people who do. How do SFSI workers
know so much about sex? We’re not thrown onto the phones
cold. To be an SFSI volunteer, you have to complete 52 hours
of sex training (not hands-on), including panel discussions on
aging and sex, sex and drugs, the law, sex work (you’ll find
me teaching that—I’ve written a lot of porn), consent, S/M,
homosexuality, bisexuality, heterosexuality, crossdressing,
and just about everything else out there.
And if we still don’t know the answers, we can usually find
the number or address of someone who does. The switchboard
room is packed with reference materials and a wonderful
computerized reference file of therapists, hotlines, stores,
mail-order companies, social clubs, organizations, support
groups, and much, much more.
This day, today, we start off with a question about VD—or, at
least someone who thinks it might be.
“San Francisco Sex Information, can I help you?”
His accent is thick (Asian, Middle Eastern?) and his English
isn’t all that great, but I manage to put together a rough picture:
“My wife says she is sick. Says she has something
wrong with her—infection?”
“A yeast infection?”
Silence for a moment. Consulting. “Yes, that is what she
has.” I run down the facts, calmly and slowly, telling him that
lots of women get them, that they can be very painful, and
that she should probably go to the doctor. As I tell him, another
of the volunteers has pulled down a book on symptoms
and complications for me to refer to. I nod my thanks.
“She has gone to a doctor,” he says, dismissing. “I want to
know, did she get from other men? From sleeping with other
man?”
We are not doctors or therapists. That’s one thing the trainers
are very clear about. It’s not mainly, as you’d think, because
of legal issues—rather, we are told that it’s because it’s better
to say you don’t know and suggest the caller consult a
professional than give them wrong information.
If she had called, we would have told her that her symptoms
appeared to match that of a yeast infection but that she
should go back to her doctor, who could answer more of her
questions. But this isn’t really a medical question at its heart;
it’s a question about fear and possessiveness: He’s frightened
that his wife has committed adultery (and the disease
is the sign).
“From sleeping with other man?” The cultural wall is thick
and well-fortified; still, I hope I can make their lives a bit easier:
“Lots of women get yeast infections. They can happen all
on their own—not from sleeping with another man.”
We go on like this for a while: his fear and anger at his wife’s
ANSWERS 9