Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
Cocksucker Magnet<br />
Lori Selke<br />
“I know what boys like.”<br />
This is a true story.<br />
I have a cocksucker magnet.<br />
—The Waitresses<br />
I don’t mean this the way that some women do—”All the<br />
cute ones are gay,” or even, “Yep, after he broke up with me,<br />
well, you know. Just like my last two boyfriends, too.”<br />
No, I’m serious. I can sniff out a cocksucker at twenty paces.<br />
Better than that, they actually seek me out.<br />
There’s a myth in our culture about men’s sexuality. It’s a<br />
persistent myth; lots of people believe it, and it’s dead, flat<br />
wrong.<br />
If anyone ever tells you that girls’ sexuality is fluid—they’re<br />
comfortable moving from boys to girls and back again, whatever<br />
works—while men are more, well, rigid about their preferences,<br />
don’t believe them. It’s a crock. The canonical Big<br />
Lie.<br />
I know better.<br />
Here’s how I learned the truth.<br />
I’m currently employed as a phone-sex girl. Yes, I have joined<br />
the ranks of the educated, middle-class sex workers that San<br />
Francisco is so famous for. My chosen profession is legal,<br />
therefore less lucrative, but I figured it showcased my best<br />
asset—no, not my tits and not my tattoo—my mouth. I’m<br />
good at talking dirty; that’s why I write smut, too.<br />
Plus, it’s kind of like acting. I enjoy the make-believe.<br />
On the phone, I’m twenty-four. I’m shorter. My tits are<br />
smal-ler, because everyone thinks I’m lying if I tell the truth.<br />
My waist is slimmer. And of course, I am femme and like<br />
to lounge around the house in black silk slips, a baby-T, and<br />
a thong, or a lace bra, short skirt, and no underwear. I also<br />
traffic in silky panties and little red dresses and high-heeled,<br />
marabou-trimmed mules.<br />
I have brown hair, except when I’m blonde. I’m curvy and<br />
plush, except when I’m petite and slim, and I always have<br />
brown eyes.<br />
And I have a cocksucker magnet.<br />
I’m not sure if I’ve gotten a reputation in, I don’t know, the<br />
underground phone-sex-fiend network or something, but<br />
more than half of my customers end up telling me, by the end<br />
of our ten, twenty, thirty minutes together, how much they<br />
want to suck cock. That’s right—they want to give another<br />
guy a big, sloppy blowjob. They want to open their throat, get<br />
facefucked, and swallow a load of cum.<br />
Some of them are honest about it, more or less. “I’m going<br />
to go visit a gay bar for the first time ever this weekend,” one<br />
guy said to me. “I’ve always fantasized about it, but this time<br />
I’m going to do it.”<br />
I don’t know if I really believe him or not. He could just be<br />
feeding me a line. But that’s okay, because what he really<br />
wants to hear about is how, when he goes to that bar on<br />
Saturday, he’s going to meet a guy who’s going to drag him<br />
into a bathroom stall and force his cock down his throat, then<br />
take him home and fuck him up the ass. You didn’t know this<br />
always happens in gay bars?<br />
Or the guy who asked me to tell him what it was like to suck<br />
cock, because, “I tried it once in college, and I think about it<br />
now and then, and that’s not so weird, is it?” I always assure<br />
them that no, of course it’s not weird. I think they might be a<br />
bit put off, though, if I admitted that I get calls like theirs every<br />
single day. “Sure, there are thousands of guys out there just<br />
like you!” doesn’t seem to be what they want to hear, either.<br />
120 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS <strong>WRONG</strong>
Change language