SEXIS WRONG

out. And I can’t go out there just wearing my wig cap.”
“All right,” I agreed reluctantly. “But you have to wash the
cum-towels tonight.”
“All right, whatever you say.” She closed her eyes and retreated
back into her warm nest.
I stood up and smoothed out my naughty nurse uniform. I put
on my trench coat and reading glasses, slipped on a pair of
flats, and walked out to greet the couple, leaving my seveninch
heels behind.
I opened the door to the lobby and found the couple standing
patiently in the middle of the room. They were attractive,
middle-aged, oddly perfect. The mister was dark, tall, and
handsome with broad shoulders. He had a square jaw and
perfect hair and teeth. He wore a dark suit and shiny black
loafers. The missus was thin and surprisingly tall for a woman,
almost matching his height. She wore her hair in a tight
blonde bob, which curled under perfectly at the ends. She
was strikingly beautiful with sharp features and piercing lightblue
eyes, which eerily matched the color of her form-fitting
polyester skirt suit, circa 1950.
“My wife actually thinks you’re really
beautiful.”
I sat down behind the front desk. “Hi, can I help you?” I asked
matter-of-factly.
They both smiled their perfect smiles and started walking toward
me. “We were hoping you could tell us a little bit about
this place,” the man said. The woman kept smiling as she
daintily clutched a large, white patent-leather purse just below
her slight chest.
there’s another girl in the back,” I said. “I’d be happy to bring
her out.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” he said. He smiled and placed
his hand on the woman’s knee. “My wife actually thinks
you’re really beautiful. She just wanted to make sure you
were the one.” The woman laid her head down on the man’s
shoulder, coyly brushed a lock of blonde hair from her face,
and gave me a wink.
I grabbed the paperwork and started to write. “So you want a
couple’s show, right?” I asked. They both smiled and nodded
vigorously. “Okay, I just want to make sure you understand
this is a non-nude show. You both can get as comfortable as
you like in the room, but we can’t touch each other during
the show.”
“But we can touch each other, right?” he asked, pointing to
the woman, then back at himself.
“That’s correct,” I said.
“Sounds great.” He opened his wallet and handed me several
twenties. “The rest is for you,” he said with a wink.
“Thanks,” I said. “Now I just need your names
to finish up the paperwork. It doesn’t have to
be your real names. You can make something
up if you’d like. It’s just this stupid little procedure
we have.”
The man immediately responded, “We’re the Joneses, Frank
and Betty.” They seemed amused as they watched me write
in the book.
“Nice to meet you,” I said. “My name’s Kate. Follow me and
I’ll show you to your room.”
“Sure...of course,” I said. I pointed to a pair of chairs next to
the desk. “Why don’t you have a seat?”
“Thank you,” the man said. He took a step back and held out
his hand like a gentlemen, gesturing for her to sit first. When
they were both seated, they scooted to the very edge of their
chairs and leaned forward as if eager to hear the good news.
“There’s a folder on the table next to you,” I said, pointing in
that direction.
The man picked it up and laid it open across his lap for both
of them to see. My nails dug into my palms as I watched
them peruse the menu, waiting for their smiles to dissolve
into shock and dismay. After a couple of seconds, the woman
leaned over and whispered something into the man’s ear. His
face turned serious. “Are you the one who does the shows?”
he asked.
“I can...or if you had another hair color or body type in mind,
They eagerly followed me down the dark and narrow corridor.
I opened the door, and they stepped inside. “Go ahead and
make yourself at home. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes
wearing something a little more comfortable,” I said, tugging
at my jacket.
A couple minutes later I came back and knocked on the
door.
“Come in,” Betty said.
I opened the door and vamped into the room wearing my seven-inchers.
Betty was lying beautifully naked on the couch
with one arm draped dramatically over the edge. Her skin
was creamy white, except for the pinkness of her nipples and
the ample mound of dark, curly hair between her thighs.
Frank sat naked on the back of his heels atop a towel he had
spread out on the carpet. His body rippled with aging muscles
covered in dark, wiry hair that seemed to grow every-
212 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS WRONG