SEXIS WRONG

ing kids—but are somewhat unusual. He actually discusses
S/M (while he doesn’t name it, he describes “the relation
of pain to the sexual act as a means of intensifying it and
increasing the pleasure of the two participants”). More than
that—don’t let your jaw hit the table—he approves of it. But
only within marriage (of course) and only with the husband
doling out the hurt. “When the condition is reversed and the
woman inflicts the pain, it would appear that the act is abnormal
and is only saved from being pathological by the fact that
the inflicted pain ends in normal coitus.”
Keller says that some women simply need pain in order to
be passionate and as long as both spouses are digging it, it’s
normal. Have we uncovered the earliest mainstream medical
proponent of S/M, at least of the male dom variety?
Expanding his point, Keller argues that married couples must
avoid monotony at all costs by engaging in a wide variety of
(unnamed) acts that might seem kinky. He warns women
that if they primly refuse to engage in such fun because it
makes them feel like whores, they may well lose their husbands
to actual whores. He recommends that both spouses
fearlessly tell each other all their sexual desires, then bring
them into reality.
“In many ways there is a deadly
resemblance between the two
conditions of the opium habit and
auto-eroticism.”
The book ends with Keller yelling in all caps:
THE RULE BRIEFLY STATED IS THIS: THE HUSBAND
IS ALWAYS TO BE RECEPTIVE TO THE SEXUAL
DESIRES OF THE WIFE AND ALWAYS READY TO
GRATIFY HER REQUESTS FOR LOVE. THE TIME,
FREQUENCY AND VARIETY OF THE SEX LIFE IS
TO DEPEND ENTIRELY UPON THE INSTINCTIVE
FEELINGS OF THE WIFE. IN OTHER WORDS, SHE
IS TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE IN ALL THE LOVE LIFE,
LEAVING ONLY THE ONE RESPONSIBILITY TO
THE HUSBAND, AND THAT IS, SATISFYING HER
DESIRES.
The ease with which Keller switches from reactionary Cro-
Magnon to progressive radical to babbling fruitcake truly
boggles the mind.
The next two books are The Sexual Education of the Young
Woman and The Sexual Education of the Young Man. In the
former book, Keller gives a remarkably detailed, frank recounting
of the physical changes that a lass experiences during
puberty, takes a stab at girl psychology, declares that she
needs to be obsequious to her father, and recommends a
soap suds enema during her first period. But the whole thing
really is summed up in the third sentence of chapter seven:
“The entire effort of her first twenty years should be devoted
to the task of so caring for herself so that when she marries
she will be a happy gentlewoman.” The companion book is
pretty much note for note the same, except casting things in
male terms, of course. The point is to prepare the boy to be a
wonderful husband/breadwinner. Among many other things,
this means not reading “the sex magazines that are at present
time covering every newsstand.” (In 1928?)
As the title indicates, Companionate Marriage, Birth Control,
Divorce, Modern Home Life is a grab-bag, which nonetheless
has only one message: Breed! In Keller’s most forceful
statement yet, he graciously allows that not cranking out kids
is acceptable only for prepubescent girls and “the old maid”
who chooses caring for her parents over having children. “All
other women, who, married and living with their husbands,
continually and steadfastly refuse to perform their duty to the
race and themselves by becoming mothers, are to be classed
with some lesser form of creation. They are certainly not the
women God created.” Each unused ovum that gets flushed
out every twenty-eight days is the same as a murdered baby.
Is this what Mac thought about during his long
workouts?
Love, Courtship, Marriage presents a Leave It
to Beaver vision of the married couple, from
puppy love to the “perpetual honeymoon” of
marriage—with babies, of course.
If you thought Keller might hit a different note with volume
seven, rest assured that he doesn’t. Mother and Baby gushes
on and on about pregnancy, childbirth, and taking care of the
bawling infant.
After detouring for three volumes, Keller returns primarily to
the matter of sex with Sexual Life of Men and Women After
Forty. At this point in their lives, women typically aren’t going
to be having any more children, and many or most of the
kids they did have may already be grown and on their own.
With brats out of the picture, what on earth will Keller talk
about? He urges women to take care of their physical appearances
so their husbands don’t end up with hookers. Men are
warned to put less effort into screwing, which now can be
“a fatiguing and even deadly act.” There follows a fascinating
chapter on admittedly worthless techniques to keep men
sexually vital (such as monkey-testicle transplants), followed
by Keller’s advice: Don’t shoot too much of your seed in your
younger years, so you’ll have reserves left in middle age.
Despite being part of “The Sexual Education Series,” in
Diseases and Problems of Old Age, Keller spends 95% of
262 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS WRONG