SEXIS WRONG

cause I’m a former overt out lesbian and still am quite queer
in the global, queer, sexual sense, because I’m into S/M and
dom inance and submission, because I’m into watching and
being watched, talking and being talked to and finding out
all the little byways of sex that women aren’t supposed to
know about, much less practice and see if they can get good
at—I’m just as divergent as those guys are. They’re coming
in to be with me and trust me with their sex, and their desire
reaffirms me in mine. I doubt they know that they’re doing
that for me, but I know, and I know that I’m doing it for them.
And every once in a while a man will be very clear, like the
dominance guy who said, after he got off and stopped being
nasty to me and calling me a dirty cunt, “It’s so good that you
people are here doing this.” Just the kind of voice he would
tell the waiter to please convey his com pliments to the chef,
you know? Same thing, same thing. “Please let every body
doing this know that we appreciate you for being here and
giving us something that we can’t get other places.” I know
plenty of people who have well-rounded sexual relationships
who started out by understanding that they could get that by
visiting peep shows, by seeing prostitutes and getting it that
somebody would want to fuck them or talk to them or see
them or let them watch.
Yeah, there’s a lot of healing. I am very clear
that I am like one of the priestesses of the
Goddess back in the temples of the Middle
East, way before Yahweh showed up and took
over, whose spiritual gift was to be there for any man who
walked in to see the face of the Goddess. We’re showing the
face of the Goddess in a culture that doesn’t believe in the
Goddess anymore.
from all over the world. Some are travelers and tourists, and
some live right in the neighborhood. Some of them come from
far away to have their sexual fantasy. Some are quite young,
probably too young to be there. They are men old enough to
be grandpas, and you hope they’re not going to fall over while
they’re jackin’ off. And every age in between. Most are in
their forties, I would guess. They are packs of boys, Latinos,
Asian Pacific, black or white, or combina tions thereof; out on
the prowl, checking it out, having a little testos terone party
amongst themselves. Those are the most likely to misbe have
in the hallway and suddenly turn sweet and shy in the booth.
That’s a little piece of information I never expected to get
about the way young men behave.
They are from all economic classes. A lot more upstanding
citizens than I ever thought. I had some prejudices about,
“Who would go to those sleazy places anyway?” Well, a little
bit of everybody does. The only people that we don’t have a
good representational sample of are females. I’d love to have
more of them visit me. It’s a special case when a woman
walks in, it’s like, “Oh, my God, it’s a woman and she’s here
to watch!” Sometimes her hus band or boyfriend is hauling
her in, and she’s kind of trying to hide her eyes behind her
hands and go, “Oh, not this, honey,” and some times she is
I’ve seen guys hump the window,
hump the wall.
unabashedly as much a pussy hound as anybody else there.
I want to see as many different kinds of women as men feel
free to explore sexual entertainment. It’s cultural—it’s just
not okay yet.
Describe your performance at its best and worst. ~ At
my best I give the customer total permission to be who he
or she is and want what he or she wants. I consent to being
a fantasy object in those desires, whatever they are. At my
best I become just as erotically involved with the customer as
he is with me. So that we really are having sex together. That
often results in orgasms for me and almost always results in
orgasms for him, although that’s not all there is to it. Orgasm
is just reminding us that, yeah, we’re still con nected to our
bodies. I communicate total acceptance, joy, and enthusiasm
for sex. Which I think is a communication that none of us get
enough of. A lot of us haven’t ever really gotten it all.
At my worst, just like in partner-sex, I’m too tired to really
connect. I’m not with the erotic flow any longer. At my worst
it’s, “Where’s the sex? I can’t find it.”
Describe the customers. ~ Well, most of them are men.
That’s about all you can say that’s generalizable. They come
from a great many walks of life. They are all races. They are
Do customers leave their social roles and status behind
when they come to see you? ~ Sometimes. In some respects,
a hard cock is a great leveler.
Describe the variety of sexual behavior customers express.
~ Everything from open, lascivious looking, a looking
that is so sexual that you just don’t see it any place else, except
occasionally in the eyes of a lover. To pawing at the glass
to pretend to touch your body. Making licking motions—“Oh,
that pussy looks so good I could eat it.” Kissing through the
glass. Guys jerk off and occasionally sploosh on the window. I
try not to let them actually touch the glass with their mouths,
but sometimes they do it. I explain that it’s not safe. I’ve seen
guys hump the window, hump the wall.
Lots of taking penis in hand and rubbing, stroking, petting,
teasing, jerking. I don’t know if I’ve seen every form of
masturbation, but I’ve seen lots and lots and lots, and it’s
a ceaseless delight to see how different guys do it. There’s
some whole-body self-sexuality, too. Some guys will get
SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE NAKED 193