SEXIS WRONG

who can carve the most realistic penis with only their teeth.
Some strippers use a cucumber in a pseudo-castration scene
where they have a man hold a cucumber between his upper
thighs and proceed to fellate the green erection. As the
audience becomes enthralled, the stripper bites off the tip
of the cucumber. People sometimes suck on a lime before
cunnilingus to make their taste buds swell, creating more texture
when rubbed against sensitive genital tissue. There are
special caterers that design cakes and pastries with a sexual
theme. People also stuff objects like grapes, small tomatoes,
peeled and cooled hardboiled eggs, and small pieces of ice
into the rectum for erotic pleasure.
A row of con testants is lined up,
given a banana, then told to compete
with each other for who can carve
the most realistic penis with only
their teeth.
Another use of food consists of combining it with bodily
secretions. One couple developed a game where the wife,
after dismissing herself during a formal dinner to go to the
restroom, upon returning would dip her finger in some food
and put her finger to her husband’s lips, asking him to try it.
People at the table, if they noticed at all, thought he was only
tasting food, while in fact she had first dipped her finger in
urine. The same is done with vaginal secretions.
People aroused by lactating breasts sometimes drop cream
onto a partner’s nip ples and lick it off. Sex surrogates use food
to get some clients back in touch with their bodies. The surrogate
gets clients excited and salivating by slowly rubbing their
favorite food on their bodies. This reconditions their bodies to
respond to touch. Food orgy parties are organized by individuals
where friends bring either an erotic arrangement of food
to share, or food that feels sensuous when rubbed onto a
partner and licked off; after ward, everyone soaks in a hot tub.
There are all-male games such as “Shoot the
Cookie,” where men stand in a circle around a
cookie and masturbate. The rule dictates that
the last one who ejaculates on the cookie has
to eat it.
Food can be used for a form of flagella tion. A
regular client of an Oregon bordello during the
1940s would pay to have two prostitutes watch him strip naked,
put on high heels, get into a tub of water, and walk back
and forth. His only request was that they throw oranges at
his buttocks as he paced. He would then get out, pick up
the oranges, replace them in his paper bag, dress, and leave.
(Personal communication.)
128 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS WRONG