SEXIS WRONG

Sexual Behavior of Former Nuns
and Priests (Before, During, and
After Orders)
It is exceedingly difficult to get any information about the sex
lives of nuns and priests. Obviously, they are not supposed to
have any. In a precedent-shattering study, two researchers at
Baylor College of Medicine have come up with some interesting
answers.
Sex Activity of Former Nuns and Priests
Sex Activity Percentage While in orders After leaving
engaging in
orders
activity before
entering orders
Masturbation 47% 57% 85%
Intercourse 11% 15% 82%
Oral-Genital 9% 5% 75%
Homosexual 11% 21% 16%
Celibate 46% 32% 10%
The percentages given refer to those who replied. In many
cases the individual engaged in more than one activity; therefore,
the columns are not intended to add up to 100%.
Fifty-three percent of the men and 50% of the
women reported being less satisfied sexually
after relinquishing orders than they would have
liked. The next question was, What rea son did
they have for this decreased sexual satisfaction?
Reason
Reasons Most Frequently Cited for
Decreased Satisfaction
Times Cited
1. Lack of partners 57
2. Religious/moral reasons 44
3. Feelings of not being desirable 35
4. Communication problems 20
5. Orgasmic dysfunction (women only) 20
(From “A Sexual Intimacy Survey of Former Nuns and Priests” by
Margaret H. Halstead, MS, and Lauro S. Halstead, MD, in The Journal of
Sex and Marital Therapy, summer 1978. Reprinted (with minor changes)
with permission.)
9 Great Writers of Sex Letters
1. Louis Armstrong: His candid letters sizzle with passion,
and he could play on a woman’s emotions as adroitly as
on a trumpet. His nickname, Satchmo, is short for Satchelmouth,
a perfect piece of equipment for a sensual lover.
2. Napoleon Bonaparte: His amorous letters to Josephine during
the Italian campaign were a literal “hotline” to Paris.
A typical comment: “I long to cover you with a thousand
kisses.”
3. Robert Browning: This sedately bearded and seemingly
staid Victorian poet was an ardent suitor, as his beautiful
love letters to Elizabeth Barrett (later his wife) testify. But
to another woman he wrote: “If you will let me visit you
again, I promise to make my hands behave.” A Browning
buff bought this incriminating note for $500, then burned
it, observing: “No one must ever know this about Browning.”
4. George A. Custer: The future Indian-fighter’s love letters
to his sweetheart, Mollie J. Holland of Cadiz, Ohio, mostly
signed “Bachelor Boy,” were so impassioned that Mollie
cut out many passages with her sewing scissors, leaving
only such relatively modest remarks as, “When are we going
to get into the trundle bed?”
5. Salvador Dalí: The celebrated Surrealist wrote torrid letters
in fractured French, often enriching them with erotic
sketches.
Puccini once observed that he might
have written many more operas
if he hadn’t spent so much of his
life horizon tal.
6. John Keats: His immortal love letters to Fanny Brawne reveal
the fierce passion of the poet who so desired intense
sensations that he sprinkled cayenne pepper on his tongue
before sipping claret. To Fanny he wrote: “Love is my religion.
You have rav ished me away by a power I cannot
resist. I cannot breathe without you.”
7. John F. Kennedy: The intimate, unpublished correspondence
of our thirty-fifth President abounds in four-letter
words and sexy comments. To the sweetheart who rejected
his proposal of marriage only six months before he was
wed to Jacqueline Bouvier, Kennedy wrote a passionate
letter, pleading that she reconsider, adding: “You are the
only woman I have ever loved or ever will love.”
8. Wolfgang A. Mozart: The famed composer was a passionate
lover and delighted in using explicit language in his
letters, thus putting his modern editors to the embarrassment
of censoring his uninhibited vocabulary.
9. Giacomo Puccini: An acknowledged master of the four-letter
word, the great composer of La bohème and Madama
Butterfly wrote poems in his letters to his mistresses that
SEX BY THE NUMBERS 341