SEXIS WRONG

new. I think of those Mummers parades, where everybody
dresses up in outrageous clothes and parades around with
their psyches hanging out. Some people come to the theater
with their psyches hanging out, and it’s won derful.
Describe your adolescent sexuality. ~ I started to calm
down about what my body looked like, a little bit, by the time
I was fourteen or so. I had gone to the library and found out
what fucking was, and decided I wanted to do it. I was up
against the dilemma of the unusual kid: “I’m weird—who’s
going to want to fuck me?” The boys I hung out with were
the oddball boys who were less in control of, less proactive
with their sexuality than the boys on the football team, who
had discovered that they could fuck pretty much any body
they wanted. They didn’t want to fuck me. I was getting
extraordinari ly horny, and I wanted to do something about
this stupid virginity.
I would try masturbating, and I would get up to “T-1 and
counting,” and my hand would freeze. There was so much
physical tension in me that I could not make my hand move
the last four strokes that it would take to get me over to orgasm.
So I was a maniac, like a monkey on a string.
And what I did was have an affair with one of my former
teachers. That helped take care of matters. It took me out of
the social fishbowl of high school, where I wasn’t fitting in
very well, and put me into another realm altogether, an adult
sexual realm, essentially. I don’t suppose it was an adult sexual
realm the first couple of times, but after that, I was having
a relation ship, the way I have relationships now. And it made
a great deal of differ ence. I still wasn’t orgasmic, but at least I
was getting all the other things I wanted from sexuality—the
touching, the attention, the “yes, you’re desir able” stuff, all of
that. And then I got the vibrator and that fixed the rest of it.
After a while it got around that I fucked—that took care of
a multitude of sins, as far as all the boys were concerned.
[Laughs.] But having sex with guys my own age was always
perfectly weird. The level of communication and body knowledge
that I shared with my older lover never got replicated
with people my age, not till I got to college.
Describe your sexual fantasies. ~ Wow. I spend so much
time living so many of them I don’t [laughs] have a real active
fantasy life right now. Actually, I do. My partner and I
play family sex games, brother-sister and other kinds of taboo
sex. I’ve got some strong fantasy charge on that stuff. Maybe
I’m taking my funny business with my dad into a place that’s
entirely safe to have the parts that did get under my skin erotically.
I have a strong fantasy charge on dominant-submissive
energy. I’ve been a bottom for as long as I’ve been in touch
with that, which is ten, twelve years now. I’m just starting to,
in my fantasy life most of all, move into a place where I can
be on top, and that’s a real exciting change for me. I always
knew it would happen, but I never knew when.
When I fantasize I stop at some humans; I’m not will ing to
imagine having sex with either Jesse Helms or Andrea Dworkin.
Currently, my favorite non-human fantasy has to do with
going to Marine World and getting a job as an underwater
mermaid and having the dolphins try to get me when I go in
to feed them after the place closes. I majorly want to have sex
with a dolphin, and I don’t know if I will ever get the chance.
That’s my big quirk fantasy for the moment. They’re so smart,
they must be good lovers, you know.
At what age do you think people should be allowed to
view pictures of human genitalia? ~ Well, they got to be
out of the womb because they can’t see in there. I’m serious.
Maybe on the way out. There should be decora tions on the
walls of the obstetrics ward. People should be able to view
pic tures of human genitalia at every age. People should be
able to view live human genitalia walking past, in the persons
of the brothers, sisters, mommies, and daddies, and when
they go out on weekends to the nude beach. Genitalia should
be no more outrageous to view than ears, and until we get
over that one, we will have certain problems associated with
shame and guilt. And probably a higher level of adrenaline attached
to our titillation around nudity.
What would a sexually positive society look like? ~ One
in which kids weren’t stigmatized and punished for their
sexual feelings and explorations. It would be one in which
gender roles were not strict and behavior by gender category
was unknown. It would be one in which everybody was encouraged
to make sexual pleasure a priority in their lives. It
wouldn’t be assumed that just because you found a partner
that everything would fall into place easily, that sexual pleasure
would have to be something that real compatibility was
found around, and that would be honored. When you bring
your potential spouse home to your mom, Mom wouldn’t
say, “Oh, how nice, dear, how much money does he make?”
but, “Oh, how nice, dear, are you having multi ple orgasms
together?” [Laughs.] That would be healthy.
I think more people would try more kinds of sexual behavior
so there wouldn’t be so clearly defined sexualized groups of
people. Maybe some people would settle in one particular
kind of behavior, but maybe other people would just zoom
up and down the range of things that they could do for their
whole lives. I think there would be less heterosexual monogamous
partnering, perhaps less monoga mous partnering altogether,
that jealously would be much less a problem than it is
now. And for good measure, we might eradicate all sexually
transmitted diseases.
How can we achieve that society? ~ Talk about sex a hell
SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE NAKED 195