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Ed Jacob<br />
He’s sooo cool and handsome. And he’s so good<br />
in bed, he makes me tingle all over. He’s so lovely<br />
that I don’t want to lose him to another woman.<br />
I’m going to marry him soon. I’ll be the happiest<br />
person in the world.<br />
This is something I can’t tell anyone, but I’m dating<br />
three other guys. Tomorrow I have a date with<br />
another guy that I really like called M. We’re really<br />
hot for each other. I’m really careful to keep him<br />
secret from my darling, though. I might be fooling<br />
around with your boyfriend too….<br />
Written by a twenty-eight-year-old woman:<br />
Dear Maria Theresia Hotel,<br />
How have you been? We’ve been using your hotel<br />
a lot since we started dating. Thanks to you, we<br />
got married and have been blessed with a baby!<br />
Today is our first “Maria Theresia day” since we<br />
got married! We brought our ten-month-old baby<br />
to stay with us. Maria Theresia is a theme park<br />
paradise for a couple with a baby like us. We had a<br />
great time eating, drinking, watching a movie, and<br />
singing karaoke from our soft bed. Thank you so<br />
much. We’ll be back!<br />
Written by an anonymous female:<br />
K’s technique is so good that I came twenty times!<br />
And he’s still horny! He actually made me faint!<br />
Written by a female visiting a hotel alone:<br />
Inside a love hotel.<br />
He was arrested by the police<br />
right in front of my eyes. Do<br />
you know how hard being<br />
arrested was on him? Do<br />
you know how terrible that<br />
must have made him feel?<br />
And do you know how hard<br />
it is on me to be alone? And<br />
how much harder it must be<br />
on him? Can you imagine<br />
how much more terrible his<br />
suffering must be, even than<br />
mine? No matter how hard<br />
you try to imagine it, you<br />
can never understand unless<br />
you go through it yourself.<br />
But now I’m trying all the<br />
time to imagine just a little<br />
bit of what he must be<br />
feeling.<br />
He’s going to be away for at least five years. That’s<br />
a long time. Everyone is telling me not to wait for<br />
him. Five years certainly is a long time, all right.<br />
Maybe I won’t be able to wait, but what other<br />
choice do I have?<br />
Written by a woman staying in the hotel alone after a fight<br />
with her boyfriend:<br />
Of all the hotels I’ve been to, I’ve never found one I<br />
liked so well as this. It’s easy to check in, even for a<br />
woman alone. Of course, the rooms are clean, too.<br />
It’s not so cheap, but the rooms are so nice that<br />
it’s worth it.<br />
I owe a lot to this hotel. I’ve come here with my<br />
boyfriend about twenty times, and when we have<br />
a fight, I come here alone to get out of our house. I<br />
come here a lot. And I’ll probably come here again,<br />
too.<br />
Written by an anonymous female:<br />
My husband is still sound asleep. Yesterday we<br />
had wild, screaming sex for the first time in ages.<br />
We’ve been married for two and a half years. This<br />
is my first visit to a love hotel! Yay! Love hotel sex<br />
sure is good, isn’t it? You can really go at it and<br />
get excited. Sometimes you have to be animals in<br />
bed. I love, love, love my husband! There are four<br />
hickeys on my neck, though, so I wonder if they’ll<br />
be noticed at work. I was so excited yesterday that<br />
I didn’t even notice them. I’m so embarrassed! You<br />
256 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS <strong>WRONG</strong>
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