SEXIS WRONG

ever we wanted to know, she told us. When I wanted to
know how a woman got pregnant she said, “Well, a man’s
penis goes inside...” She just tells the whole thing. Instead
of talkin’ about the birds and bees, she talk about the dick
and the pussies, ’cause that’s what it actually is. She tried
to explain orgasms to me, but she said you have to find out
by yourself. She said, “I knew it felt good to me.” And I said,
“Well, yeah.” I was all into it. She explained how a man ejaculates,
what it looks like, how big the penises can be, how
small they can be, how wide, how—all this. It’s great; she
didn’t hide anything from me.
Were you sexually abused as a child? ~ Nope. I wish I
was. [Laughs.]
Describe your high-school years. ~ I never dated anybody
in my school, period. I didn’t want a boy; I wanted a man.
[Laughs.] I was basically goin’ to school and comin’ home,
doin’ my work, and playin’ basketball. Never hung around female
friends ’cause they wasn’t ’bout nothin’, always tryin’ to
steal somebody boyfriend.
When I was sixteen, I dated a thirty-three-year-old man. He
was my first “piece.” [Laughs.] It went on for a little while. I
wasn’t serious with him. It was just a nice friendship. I didn’t
When I was sixteen, I dated a
thirty-three-year-old man. He was
my first “piece.”
want a commitment at the age of sixteen; I just want ed to
experience—fuckin’. It was nice. I also dated a thirty-twoyear-old
guy, and I screwed him, too. I had curfews and all
that, but any time I could spend with him, I did.
Do you think your sexuality would be different if you
lived in an egalitarian or female-dominated society? ~
No, it wouldn’t be different. I’d still be the same way. I’d still
look at the bodies, and thinkin’ about the dicks inside the
pants. I’d still be my own person regardless of who’s runnin’
what or whatev er. I’d still have my own personality, my own
mind.
show. Men will watch if you spread your legs; those little
windows will stay open. But people don’t have to do that. A
lot of women find that erotic and powerful. I tell them to use
facial expres sions, play with your breasts and arms, kiss at
them, use your whole body.
I also tell them that I want them to be responsible and reliable.
People think that it’s not a real job. I constantly hear
that when I’m not there, people are fucking off. I stress that
people should be responsible if they want steady raises. I tell
them to experiment with costumes and characters. Try new
dance moves, new aspects of your personality. Experiment
and explore onstage. I tell them that I want them to participate
and be active in the theater, but it doesn’t happen that
often. People tend to just check in and check out. I encourage
them to be open with each other and communicate, especially
around resentments. Be support ive, be gentle, don’t be
threatening, tell people how you feel about them, and if you
can’t tell them, tell me.
Describe your first experience onstage. ~ I was pretty excited
and pretty ner vous about returning to the sex industry
after ten years. When I was nineteen, I started dancing topless
and turning tricks. I worked in nude-modeling studios, and I
ran a massage parlor in Arizona. I went through all that stuff
and quit. I decided that it was bad. I should be
a good girl, be normal. I did that for ten years,
and I have never been so bored. I was shocked
that that was what people wanted to do with
their lives. You know, nine to five, predictable
stuff. Everything’s very safe; everyone pays attention to the
rules. I did that for ten years, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.
But still I was wondering if I should be going back into the
sex industry. Maybe there was something wrong with me,
because I wanted to go back for ten years. I would stare at
massage parlors and topless-dance places. I would always
read the ads for dancers, escorts, and masseuses, and just
long to be back in that environment, where people are really
wild and open and in many ways more honest than folks in
the mainstream. Especially the women. There are a lot of real
strong women in the sex industry.
Has dancing affected your politics? ~ I wasn’t ever into
fuckin’ politics. Fuck politics! [Laughs.]
Attilla the Honey
What have you been telling the women to do to succeed
at this job since becoming show director? ~ I tell them
that I want them to be having fun, and if they don’t like the
work, or if they think there is something wrong with it, that
they shouldn’t be doing it. I tell them to establish lots of eye
contact to establish a flirtation. We talk a lot about the pussy
So anyway, I was onstage and sort of in a state of shock.
Here I was, I had finally gone back. I don’t get along with my
family, but I had just begun a rec onciliation with my sister. I
knew that this was going to blow that. She would never approve,
so I was sacrificing that. I had many, many friends who
were so upset with me. It’s a feminist issue, and I was like a
traitor to the cause. This was terrible; this was exploitation. I
thought I was going to lose all of my friends. That didn’t turn
out to be true, but it put a major strain on my friend ships. I felt
I had to do this to be true to myself.
202 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS WRONG