SEXIS WRONG

Although heterosexuals are certainly in there stroking, they
aren’t writing about it in the mainstream press.
Certainly as a matter of pure performance, male masturbation
has a showy and contagious quality that can attract admirers—and
imitators.
Some Conjectures About What’s
Going on Here
Is group masturbation a distinct sexual behavior? Certainly,
I might think so. But the people involved might not. Among
youthful groups, masturbation can co-occur with oral sex,
anal sex, and other sex play, and the kids may not think of
masturbation as “different.” Some boys’ groups do seem to
have stuck with either self-masturbation or a mix of self- and
mutual masturbation.
Lesbians don’t seem to select out shared jilling off from other
forms of group sex. Gay men, however, do consider shared
JO a distinct behavior. At least a few coed sex groups also
consider shared masturbation a unique activity, probably led
to this distinction partly by preference and partly by the need
for safe sex. For straight couples involved in nonmonogamy,
group masturbation may seem less threatening to the main
relationship than other forms of sex. After all, fewer than
20% of respondents to both US and UK surveys in 2001 considered
even mutual masturbation—playing with a partner’s
genitals or vice versa—as “having sex.”
Why does group masturbation seem more common among
males? Solo masturbation has been reported as more of a
guy thing than a gal thing in numerous surveys over more
than 100 years. And why is that? Some writers have linked
“And there was the same kind of
group energy…where like, people
would be having orgasms—you
could almost feel this chain reaction
rippling through the room.”
male interest in monkey-spanking to visibility of the penis
itself and erections, tangible evidence left by wet dreams,
greater social acceptance of male sexuality, and higher levels
of testosterone.
Additional factors make it more likely for males to masturbate
together. Western bathroom customs require males to
expose their penises in each other’s presence from an early
age. Group nudity on, say, swimming teams and in showering
is part of male culture beginning in boyhood. For females,
casual, shared nudity is far more socially unusual at all ages,
even given the requirement for group showers in high-school
gym class. And even when females do share nudity, their
genitals are less obvious and any sexual arousal can’t easily
be observed.
I remember my older friend’s penis was beautifully
built, about six and a half inches long erect,
and would erupt in a white pearly spray that shot
at least twelve inches in the air. It was a beautiful
sight, like watching the geyser Old Faithful erupt.
(#13 – The Hite Report on Male Sexuality, 1981)
In female orgasm, however, the experience is mostly internal.
I conjecture that some gay men divert polyamorous inclinations
to JO groups because of fear of HIV. The virus has appeared
less virulently among US lesbians and heterosexuals,
so they might not have as much motivation to focus on sex
that is do-it-yourself—but shared. And then, we do not know
how accurately people remember and report their experiences.
Perhaps many more women masturbate than report it—
or share masturbation than report it—but have not thought of
it as masturbation or have not wanted to admit it.
How many people participate? We hardly have any idea at all.
When group masturbation has made its way into surveys, it
has likely been lumped into youthful sex play, generalized masturbation,
homosexual sex, or group sex. More probably, it has
simply not been collected. Certainly more shared jacking (and
maybe jilling) is going on than is generally suspected because
researchers have not asked and certainly the public has not volunteered!
Masturbation, homosexual sex, and group sex are
big-time no-nos for many people. While these activities may
be accepted and discussed privately, they still
may not be reported to outsiders.
It has been especially difficult in surveys to get
people to report solo sex. A US research team
conducted a comprehensive sex survey by inperson
interview in the 1990s. But both interviewers
and interviewees shied away from the masturbation
questions, which were eventually delivered by a confidential
form to be filled out. At about the same time, a large British
sex survey completely excluded questions on masturbation
because of “disgust and embarrassment” all around.
A complicating factor is that surveys typically ask, for example,
about homosexual sex acts or for experiences “thought
of as being sexual.” Yet many people don’t label their shared
masturbation as homosexual or even sexual. My files are full
of such disclaimers, even from married men with “JO buddies”
who do not think of their current and clandestine activities
as “homosexual.” Quite a few Internet ads seek “str8”
(straight) partners or “married pals” for shared JO. The
Men’s Confidential survey drew “hundreds” of responses
96 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS WRONG