SEXIS WRONG

Ed Jacob
A page from a love hotel diary.
We didn’t bring any ropes today, so he couldn’t
tie me up. They should sell rope in the vending
machines!
Written by a twenty-one-year-old male university student:
It’s been four months since we met.
We can’t meet often because we’re in a longdistance
relationship.
But today we did a lot of hugging.
And a lot of kissing.
And of course we had sex.
Written by a woman in her early thirties staying at the popular
Osaka hotel Maria Theresia with her husband:
In the spring of 1999 I was approaching the age of
thirty, so my mother registered me at a marriage
agency without my permission. By the fall of ‘99,
they hadn’t introduced me to anyone, so I got angry
and went down to talk to them. Soon after that, I
started dating a guy who had also been registered
at the marriage agency by his parents without his
permission. And I got lucky the first time.
I got seriously ill just before our marriage and
some other things happened, but we got married
in the spring of 2001. Now we’re trying to make a
baby (we started last year).
Today is our first visit to Maria Theresia, but we
really love it. We want a “Made in Maria Theresia”
baby. We’ll definitely be back again.
Written by a male:
I came here today with my friend’s grandmother. It
was the first time I had ever come to a hotel with a
granny, so I don’t know who to blame. I was doing
the best I could, but when I looked at her, she
seemed disgusted, and I lost my mojo. The most
shocking thing was her underwear. Not only was
she wearing giant panties that came up past her
navel, but they had strawberries on them. Anyway.
I want to get out of here. Damn! But the hotel was
so expensive….
Written by a twenty-year-old woman and a thirty-nine-yearold
married man working as a civil servant in Osaka who are
involved in an enjo kousai relationship:
Her: I went out for a stroll with Papa. After we said
goodbye, I got an email on my cellphone saying,
“Don’t go home.” I didn’t go home, which is why
I’m here. We ate strawberry ice cream! Papa was
embarrassed to eat it at a café, but you can hear
him happily crunching and munching away on the
wafers here. If we hadn’t stayed together again,
we wouldn’t have been able to eat ice cream.
Papa didn’t want to go home either, so we stayed
together a second day.
I’m so happy. We played pachinko [a combination
pinball/slot machine], but only Papa hit the jackpot
and I lost money, so I felt down. I’m not going to
the pachinko parlor anymore. I love Papa. He’s my
favorite. But…but I want to meet him more often
and do more fun things with him. Papa, thank you
so much. You’re always so nice to me. I’ll always
give my all to follow my dreams with you. Let’s go
to India soon, soon, soon. I wub you.
Him: Okay, it’s my turn to write! Since last night
Ayu has been all sparkly and lively. She seems like
a different person. I think she’s wonderful. Ayu
has given me a dream, so I’m going to go all-out
to make it come true, and, Ayu, you should go allout
to make your dreams come true, too! But, Ayu,
your dreams and goals have gotten bigger, so I
guess you’ll be really busy….
Ayu, if you could spare me just a little of your time,
it would be enough for me.
Because I love you so much!
I love you more than anyone.
258 EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT SEX IS WRONG