(Person) Percentage - Sabanci University Research Database

The Asian Media & Mass Communication Conference 2010 Osaka, Japan
Until 2005, tens of thousands of mostly students and young working adults had at least one
cyber-marriage experience with another online user (The Beijing News, 2008 [online]).
Cyber-marriage allows players to experience the usual rites of dating, marriage, raising
children and even divorce and remarriage all within the realm of cyberspace. Many of the
existing studies of online romance tend to define it as a form of online game involving
avatars and overlook the original text-based form of cyber-marriage taking place in
discussion forums. For example, McLaren (2007) argues that “digital games are popular
amongst youthful players, and include one game that is possibly Chinese, called web
marriage [wanghun] or virtual marriage [xuni hunyin]… commercially driven sites for
entertainment, pleasure and networking ...” (p.409). Similarly, Zhong (2006) is also
concerned about the monetary and psychological cost of immersion in this “online game” by
adolescents. In my participant observation at Tianya BBS, I focus on the forum dedicated to
cyber-marriage where cyber-marriage is still being conducted in asynchronous text-based
format normally involving people who really like or are in love with one another.
Cyber-marriage can involve either couples who met online and later fall in love with one
another, or actual couples in the offline world. To the former, cyber-marriage is a way for
them to celebrate their love. The latter may perceive cyber-marriage as an extension of their
courtship in everyday life. Cyber-marriage allow couples to show commitment to one another,
sometimes also as a symbolic means to fulfil their desire to get married when in reality, they
are faced with insurmountable obstacles that prohibit them from marrying each other, such as
financial difficulties, physical separation, family or social disapproval. Although Tianya
started the practice of cyber-marriage with a serious intention to promote the growth of
genuine online romantic relationships, this does not prevent others from trying out cybermarriage
simply out of curiosity. McLaren’s study also showed that some are using it as a
domain for self-expression, flaunting their constructed persona through their literary and
rhetorical skills.
Tianya has stipulated a comprehensive set of rules and regulations to govern the online
marriages. The rules mirror the legal marriage in China, such as freedom in marriage and
choosing one’s partner. Forced or arranged marriage and bigamy are not allowed. However, it
permits same-sex couples registering for marriage online. It also explicitly warns those who
have already married or are in a committed relationship offline not to engage in this act with
anyone other than their spouse. Members are also advised to refrain from registering with
someone who is known to be already engaged with another offline. The virtual marriage
relationship will automatically become invalid if any of the parties is found to be already
married or have a partner offline, or be guilty of bigamy. The cyber-married couples can also
apply for divorce and the grounds to file for divorce and compensation is similar to the actual
Marriage Law.
Playing being married provides emotional satisfaction for some players in which social and
economic constraints make it difficult to partner or marry offline (McLaren, 2007). Tianya’s
decision to allow same-sex cyber-marriage also has a positive impact of encouraging
tolerance towards homosexuality. Nevertheless, most of the cyber-married couples are crosssex.
Although the rules of cyber-marriages largely reflect traditional norms, Wu et al.’s
(2007) study of cyber-marriage in online games demonstrated how players deconstruct the
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