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Chapter 13: Magical Items
within this victim. If all 3 questions
are answered incorrectly, then the
possessor gains 3d20 LP until the
weapon ejaculates within this victim.
If the weapon does not ejaculate
within this victim within the next day,
then the possessor must repeatedly
force this weapon in a random orifice
of themselves until it ejaculates.
Either way, this weapon ALWAYS
ejaculates. After 1d20 rounds of
penetration, this weapon ejaculates
gray splooge. If the victim is female
and the weapon ejaculates in her vagina,
it WILL impregnate her. She
will give birth in 1d6 days to a randomly
determined type of weapon,
though it will also be a weapon of
ravishing. The mother will die upon
weapon-birth. The Ravishing property
only functions every 5 days,
when its weapon-testicles become
overflowingly full.
72. Regeneration, of: Whosoever possesses
this weapon will, upon being
wounded, regenerate 1 LP and 1
BPPof damage per hour. All damage
and effects from Graphic Gore
is regenerated, unless the possessor
is decapitated.
73. Regretting, of: Whosoever wields
this weapon will rather die than part
with it. However, each day the possessor
must pass a Drive check at TH
14 or the weapon will cause the possessor
to wield it against a friend or
family member. Immediately after
a successful attack, the possessor will
put it away and feel regret. If the
possessor desires to attack any character
other than a friend or family
member, then the possessor must
pass a Drive check at TH 20. 1 roll
is necessary per foe. If failed, then
the possessor will refuse to attack the
foe in any manner, at least until tomorrow.
74. Rot, of: Whosoever wields this
weapon must determine the location
of each successful attack with the
Body Part Proportion table (see
Chap. 2: Body). Graphic Gore does
not occur, but instead the specific
body part rots and falls off or out.
If it is an internal organ, then it is
amazingly ejected through the rectum.
If their body cannot function
without the body part or organ, then
the victim dies. This property functions
once per foe, and seems to
have a memory for this.
75. Shivering, of: Whosoever wields
this weapon causes those struck to
shiver as though drenched in cold
water on a cold day. The Shivering
property lasts for 2d10 rounds.
Nipples become erect when Shivering,
and manhoods shrivel and
shrink to half-size while flaccid.
76. Sir Cockhammer, of: Whosoever
wields this weapon will introduce
themselves to others as “Sir
Cockhammer, Duke of Chode.”
This weapon illuminates a 5’ radius
as brightly as a torch, ignites oil,
burns webs, and sets fire to flammable
objects. These functions may
be performed once per day. If a
natural attack of 20 or higher is
rolled, then the weapon causes
Graphic Gore, and always gets a 30
for severity. This Graphic Gore and
severity property only functions
once per day.
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