The Individual, Auto/biography and History in South Africa

emember me?” The question is not answerable, not in simple
terms. 48
Taylor conducted her travels as part of a conversation with Tabata and as something she
was doing for their relationship. “[A]s soon as I enter a new place, a new room”, she
wrote to him, “I invoke you almost aloud…. [I]t is all I can give in your absence”. 49 She
narrated her experiences in this conversation with Tabata, one that would be picked up
more properly when they were reunited. And she expressed her awareness of how vital
this communication was for her:
I write home regularly, but I find I do not describe the same
things to them as to you (or is it to us two?). Writing quickly
both to them and to you, I do not deliberately make the
difference, yet my mind remembers different things as the pen
flows towards you. 50
Yet, the inability of Tabata to reply instantly also frustrated Taylor, as she reflected on the
importance of reciprocity in their relationship:
It is so painfully one‐sided writing what I do and see and
think, with not a word of what you are doing and thinking –
doing so much more than I. The essence of our rich
relationship is its capacity to give and receive in equal
measure. And this is violently broken at the moment. 51
And the craving of reciprocity was not only intellectual. In 1951, while Taylor was away
in Britain for a few months, it was Tabata’s turn to communicate his desires to Taylor.
He wrote a letter reporting on a series of meetings in the Eastern Cape, including the
AAC executive meeting, which had “come off very well” with the attendance and
participation by “a car load of peasants from Natal” and from other districts. He ended
48 Dora Taylor, Diary to Tabata, 9 September 1948 (Mochudi), I.B. Tabata Collection, BC 925. I have
called these communications ‘diaries’ to Tabata following Taylor’s own description of them in these
terms. These were hybrid communications, part letter, part diary and part journal entry, which also
contained a personal, emotional record.
49 Dora Taylor, Diary to Tabata, 10 September 1948 (Palapye), I.B. Tabata Collection, BC 925.
50 Dora Taylor, Diary to Tabata, 12 September 1948 (Serowe), I.B. Tabata Collection, BC 925.
51 Dora Taylor, Diary to Tabata, 18 September 1948 (Mochudi), I.B. Tabata Collection, BC 925.
Ironically, this was written the day after Tabata’s arrest at Mount Ayliff, and five days before Taylor
found out about the arrest. See Dora Taylor, Pocket Diary entries for 17‐23 September 1948, I.B. Tabata
Collection, BC 925.
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