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The Individual, Auto/biography and History in South Africa

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“a wounded bird”, who would “smile <strong>and</strong> do anyth<strong>in</strong>g” for Tabata if he was just able<br />

“to say a word to her”. She “would tear the clothes off her back to give to him, because<br />

he understood her”. Tabata “could sympathise with her” <strong>and</strong> “he felt with her”. Taylor<br />

was “full of life <strong>and</strong> energy”, whereas her husb<strong>and</strong>, J.G. was “tied to the chair” as a<br />

physically disabled person. While J.G. may have been “a good companion” to Taylor, <strong>in</strong><br />

Gool’s view, he did not seem to satisfy her boundless energy. 56 This may be part of the<br />

explanation of what drew Taylor to Tabata. <strong>The</strong>y were also attracted to each other by<br />

powerful desires <strong>and</strong> emotions, which drew upon the bedrock of their relationship of<br />

political <strong>and</strong> cultural <strong>in</strong>terchange <strong>and</strong> mutual re<strong>in</strong>forcement. And Taylor’s daughter<br />

Doreen was her <strong>and</strong> Tabata’s fantasy child, whom Tabata described to her as “our<br />

daughter”. In Taylor’s absence, Tabata “carried” her “eyes” with him “all the time” by<br />

spend<strong>in</strong>g time with Doreen. 57<br />

Tabata may have felt some responsibility for Taylor’s feel<strong>in</strong>gs of political isolation that<br />

flowed from her unofficial political status. She recognised the “danger” for her of be<strong>in</strong>g<br />

“necessarily cut off from contact for a number of reasons” except “through” Tabata. This<br />

position was “fatal” for her “politically” <strong>and</strong> “from the po<strong>in</strong>t of view of [her] writ<strong>in</strong>g”. 58<br />

And these feel<strong>in</strong>gs of the fatality of her isolation were amplified by a change <strong>in</strong> status <strong>in</strong><br />

Gool’s relationship with Tabata, when he moved <strong>in</strong>to Milan Street with Gool <strong>in</strong> May<br />

1953. This was a difficult moment for Taylor, <strong>and</strong> Tabata’s decision to make this move<br />

was a contentious one <strong>in</strong> his <strong>and</strong> Taylor’s relationship. But he did so out of a sense of<br />

political duty <strong>and</strong> orderly mascul<strong>in</strong>ity, which the dem<strong>and</strong>s of a rational movement with<br />

a rational leadership required. <strong>The</strong> words Taylor recorded <strong>in</strong> her diary of these moves<br />

<strong>and</strong> feel<strong>in</strong>gs were: “He has to decide now <strong>and</strong> feels the conflict but has no choice”. 59<br />

Later, remember<strong>in</strong>g these feel<strong>in</strong>gs, Taylor added a marg<strong>in</strong>al note to her diary:<br />

He had to agree to go to Milan Street <strong>and</strong> live there till exile<br />

together…. <strong>The</strong>ir house there became a centre for meet<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

56 Ciraj Rassool, Interview with Jane Gool, Harare, 25 January 1991.<br />

57 I.B. Tabata to Dora Taylor, 19 April 1956, I.B. Tabata Collection, BC 925.<br />

58 Dora Taylor, Notes added to Extended Diary, 1953, Dora Taylor Papers.<br />

59 Dora Taylor, Extended Diary, entry for 6 May 1953, Dora Taylor Papers.<br />

416

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