Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Language is so vital to communication. Imagine if you never learned a language; how would you be able
to function? Without language, how could you develop meaningful connections with others? Language
allows us to express ourselves and obtain our goals.
Language is the most important element in human communication. Language is made up of words,
which are arbitrary symbols. In this chapter, we will learn about how words work, the functions of
language, and how to improve verbal communication.
4.1 How Words Work
Learning
Outcomes
2. Determine the level of abstraction.
3. Comprehend the concept of metamessages.
One person might call a shopping cart a buggy, and another person might call it a cart. There are several
ways to say you would like a beverage, such as, “liquid refresher,” “soda,” “Coke,” “pop,” “refreshment,”
or “drink.” A pacifier for a baby is sometimes called a “paci,” “binkie,” “sookie,” or “mute button.”
Linguist Robin Tolmach Lakoff asks, “How can something that is physically just puffs of air, a mere
stand-in for reality, have the power to change us and our world?” 1 This example illustrates that meanings
are in people, and words don’t necessarily represent what they mean.
Words and Meaning
Words can have different rules to help us understand the meaning. There are three rules: semantic,
syntactic, and pragmatic. 2
First, semantic rules are the dictionary definition of the word. However, the meaning can change based
on the context in which it is used. For instance, the word fly by itself does not mean anything. It makes
more sense if we put the word into a context by saying things like, “There is a fly on the wall;” “I will fly
to Dallas tomorrow;” “That girl is so fly;” or “The fly on your pants is open!” We would not be able to
communicate with others if we did not have semantic rules.
A cute example of this is about a third-grade teacher who asked about a period. One male student in
her class went on and on about how girls have monthly periods, but he did not realize that the teacher
meant the use of periods for punctuation at the end of a sentence. Hence, semantic rules need to be
understood to avoid embarrassment or misunderstandings.
Second, syntactic rules govern how we help guide the words we use. Syntactic rules can refer to the use
of grammar, structure, and punctuation to help effectively convey our ideas. For instance, we can say
“Where are you” as opposed to “where you are,” which can convey a different meaning and have dif-
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