Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Jennifer Guthrie and Adrianne Kunkel explored the reasons why romantic partners engage in
deception in their article titled “Tell Me Sweet (And Not-So-Sweet) Little Lies: Deception in Romantic
Relationships.” 65 The researchers asked 67 college students to record their deceptive communication
in diaries for seven days. At the end of seven days, the students returned their diaries. The researchers
counted the deceptive communication acts in all of the diaries and determined that the 67 students
produced 327 deceptive acts in a seven-day period. The results of this part of their study showed that 147
of the deceptive acts were lies, 61 were exaggerations, half-truths accounted for 56 of the deceptive acts,
35 of the deceptive acts were diversionary responses, 26 were secrets, and two uses of deception were
not able to be categorized due to lack of detail in the diary. On average, each participant engaged in 4.88
deceptive acts in seven days.
In addition to studying how often participants lied, Guthrie and Kunkel 66 were interested in why
the students lied. The students provided 334 reasons for the 327 deceptive acts that they reported.
The researchers were able to place the 334 reasons into six overarching motives for lying: engaging in
relational maintenance, managing face needs, negotiating dialectical tensions, establishing relational
control, continuing previous deception, and unknown. In the table that follows, each motive for
deception is broken down further.
Managing Face Needs
Supporting Positive Face
Supporting own and/or partner’s positive face (protecting partner’s feelings and
self-presentation)
Supporting Negative Face
Supporting own and=or partner’s negative face (avoiding unwanted activities and=or
imposition)
Negotiating Dialectical Tensions
Balancing Autonomy/Connection
Balancing the need for independence versus the need for togetherness
Balancing Openness/Closedness
Balancing the need for open communication versus the need for privacy
Balancing Novelty/Predictability
Balancing the need for spontaneity versus the need for routine or expected behaviors
Establishing Relational Control
Acting Coercive
Ensuring partner behaves or feels how partner wants them to
Continuing Previous Deception
Participants indicated that they had lied about something in the past and the particular act of
deception was a way of continuing or maintaining the lie
Unknown
Participants reported that they could not identify their motives for using deception
Table 14.4. Deceptive Acts
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Interpersonal Communication