Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

8.6 How Gender Affects Relationships
Learning
Outcomes
3. Discover ways to improve communication.
refers to one’s biological status as male or female, as determined by chromosomes and secondary
sex characteristics. however, refers to the behaviors and traits society considers masculine
and feminine. 46 Shuhbra Gaur stated “the meaning of gender, according to her, depends on the ways a
culture defines femininity and masculinity which lead to expectations about how individual women and
men should act and communicate; and how individuals communicate establishes meanings of gender
that in turn, influence cultural views.” 47 That being said, you can have a female that has a masculine
gender and, conversely, a male that has a feminine gender. Gender is all about how society has taught
one to perceive the surrounding environment. The different traits that an individual displays is how one
interprets gender, while other traits depict how an individual was raised and developed. Heidi Reeder
noted that “In Western culture the stereotypically masculine traits include aggressiveness, independence
and task orientation. Stereotypically feminine traits include being helpful, warm and sincere.” 48 Sex is
predetermined, and in most cases, it cannot be changed, but gender, on the other hand, is fluid and can
vary in many different ways.
Gender is formed at a young age and then reinforced for the remainder of a lifetime. That does not
mean that gender cannot be changed; it just means that one would be going against what gender society
deems an individual should be. Gender comes from communication from influential figures in a person’s
life. Gender plays a major role in perceived closeness and disclosure. 49
When we talk about gender, we are not considering what the person is born physically. Rather,
we consider what the person feels psychologically. Sandra Bem (1974) was interested in gender roles.
She created a Bem Sex Role Inventory (BSRI). Based on her findings, she was able to categorized
four types of genders: (a combination of both feminine and
masculine traits), and (neither masculine or feminine). 50 When you combine sex
and gender together, you can have eight different combinations: masculine males, feminine males,
androgynous males, undifferentiated males, masculine females, feminine females, androgynous females,
undifferentiated females. 51 Most people will perceive themselves as sex-typed or androgynous, rather than
undifferentiated.
Bem’s work in gender has been eye-opening. She contended that there are three main gender
perspectives in Western culture. First, males and females are psychologically different. Second, males are
considered more dominating than females. Third, the differences between males and females are natural.
If we can understand these basic differences, then we can communicate and function better.
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Interpersonal Communication