Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

In the same fashion, every time we speak, we have a content dimension. The content dimension is the
information that is stated explicitly in the message. When people focus on the content of a message,
then ignore the relationship dimension. They are focused on the specific words that were used to convey
the message. For instance, if you ran into an ex-lover who said “I’m happy for you” about your new
relationship. You might wonder what that phrase means. Did it mean that your ex was truly happy for
you, or that they were happy to see you in a new relationship, or that your ex thinks that you are happy?
One will ponder many interpretations of the message, especially if a relationship is not truly defined.
Another example might be a new acquaintance who talks about how your appearance looks
“interesting.” You might be wondering if your new friend is sarcastic, or if they just didn’t know a nicer
way of expressing their opinion. Because your relationship is so new, you might think about why they
decided to pick that term over another term. Hence, the content of a message impacts how it is received.
The word “process” refers to the idea that something is ongoing, dynamic, and changing with a purpose
or towards some end. A communication scholar named David K. Berlo was the first to discuss human
communication as a process back in 1960. 11 We’ll examine Berlo’s ideas in more detail in Chapter 2,
but for now, it’s important to understand the basic concept of communication as a process. From Berlo’s
perspective, communication is a series of ongoing interactions that change over time. For example, think
about the number of “inside jokes” you may have with your best friend. Sometimes you can get to the
point where all you say is one word, and both of you can crack up laughing. This level of familiarity and
short-hand communication didn’t exist when you first met but has developed over time. Ultimately, the
more interaction you have with someone, the more your relationship with that person will evolve.
The word culture refers to a “group of people who through a process of learning can share perceptions
of the world that influences their beliefs, values, norms, and rules, which eventually affect behavior.” 12
Let’s breakdown this definition. First, it’s essential to recognize that culture is something we learn. From
the moment we are born, we start to learn about our culture. We learn culture from our families, our
schools, our peers, and many other sources as we age. Specifically, we learn perceptions of the world. We
learn about morality. We learn about our relationship with our surroundings. We learn about our places
in a greater society. These perceptions ultimately influence what we believe, what we value, what we
consider “normal,” and what rules we live by. For example, many of us have beliefs, values, norms, and
rules that are directly related to the religion in which we were raised. As an institution, religion is often
one of the dominant factors of culture around the world.
Let’s start by looking at how religion can impact beliefs. Your faith can impact what you believe
about the nature of life and death. For some, depending on how you live, you’ll either go to a happy
place (Heaven, Nirvana, Elysium, etc.) or a negative place (Hell, Samsara, Tartarus, etc.). We should
mention that Samsara is less a “place” and more the process of reincarnation as well as one’s actions and
consequences from the past, present, and future.
Religion can also impact what you value. Cherokee are taught to value the earth and the importance
of keep balance with the earth. Judaic religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam, etc.), on the other hand,
teach that humans have been placed on earth to dominate and control the earth. As such, the value is
more on what the earth can provide than on ensuring harmony with nature.
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