Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay
Preface
The term “interpersonal communication” refers to messages sent and received between two people.
Most of our daily lives involve interpersonal communication on some level. When many people hear the
word “interpersonal,” they immediately think of intimate relationships, but this is only one small fraction
of the types of interpersonal interactions we have daily. Whether we are communicating with our spouse
or dating partner, communicating with a coworker, communicating with a physician or therapist, or
communicating with a random stranger, you are engaging in interpersonal communication. Interpersonal
communication is the way people connect with other people.
William Schutz proposed three main reasons for why interpersonal communication is important to
human beings in his Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientations Theory: control, inclusion, and
affection. 1 The first need met through interpersonal relationships is our need to influence other people.
People have an inherent need to control situations and the people within those situations. Whether we
are talking about using persuasion attempts to get someone to go out with us on a date or using leadership
skills to control what happens in the boardroom, control is a fundamental need for our interpersonal
relationships. Most people don’t like thinking about interpersonal relationships as an issue of “control”
because that doesn’t necessarily sound nice. It’s essential that we clearly distinguish control from
manipulation. Control refers to an individual’s ability to influence another person’s behavior or ideas.
When we talk about control, we are talking about influencing another person’s behavior or ideas because
it is perceived as the right thing to do. Manipulation, on the other hand, is influencing another person’s
behavior or ideas to one’s own advantage, often using dishonest, unscrupulous, and insidious means.
Interpersonal Communication
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