Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Each of the gender types will communicate differently. Feminine females will perceive interpersonal
relationships as possibilities to nurture, to articulate their emotions and feelings. Whereas, masculine
males will view interpersonal relationships as competition and the potential for gaining something.
Androgynous male and androgynous females do not differ much in terms of their perceptions of
interpersonal relationships. However, androgynous males and females, as well as feminine females are
likely to sympathize with others more than masculine males. 52
In the United States, we have expectations for how males and females should communicate and behave. 53
We learn sex differences at a very young age. Boys and girls play, perform, dress, and respond to things
very differently. Girls are taught that it is okay to cry in public, but boys are taught to “be a man.” It is
acceptable for boys to pretend to play guns and for girls to pretend to play being mothers. Males are
conditioned to have roles, which are task-oriented responsibilities. Females are condition
to have roles, which are focused on helping and nurturing others, which are relationshiporiented
roles.
Many popular guides to enhancing communication skills place particular emphasis on exploring your
own needs, desires, and motives in the relationship. Some of the goals you have in a relationship may be
subconscious. By becoming more aware of these goals, and what you want to achieve in a relationship,
you can identify areas of the relationship that you would like to improve and generate ideas for making
these changes.
Because people in relationships are interconnected and interdependent, it takes people willing to be
open about their needs and relationship goals and willing to work on improving communication and,
hence, the relationship in general.
As discussed previously, clear communication is necessary to give and receive information. Words
have multiple denotations and connotations, and word choice is critical when you communicate about
areas of your relationship that are not satisfying. Asking for and providing clarification and sending
explicit messages, obtaining feedback to be sure that you are understood, and listening carefully to the
feedback are all important components in effective communication. Finally, when you communicate,
remember that everyone wants to be heard, to feel valued, to know that they matter, and to be assured
that their ideas are important.
Key Takeaways
• Sex is biological, and gender is psychological.
• Males tend to communicate instrumentally, and females tend to communicate
expressively.
• By becoming more aware of your goals and open to talk about the other person’s
needs, you can improve your communication.
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