Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

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First Date 36 Gay Men 37 Lesbians 38 Deaf College Students 39 •Get ready •Pick up date (M) •Feel nervous •Go to movie •Pay (M) •Talk •Hold hands •Go to café/party •Nonverbal closeness •Talk •Drink alcohol •Touch/hug •Deep conversation •Mingle with others •Talk •Leave party •Invite the other in •Walk/drive home (M) •Polite leave-taking •Discussed plans •Was nervous •Groomed/dressed •Went to date’s house/picked up date. •Met at pre-arranged location •Left one location for another •Got to know /evaluated date •Talked/laughed/ joked •Talked to friends while on date •Went to a movie, show, etc. •Ate/drank non-alcohol •Drank alcohol/ used drugs •Initiated physical contact •Discussed plans •Was nervous •Groomed/dressed •Prepared (cleaned apt., bought flowers, etc.) •Went to date’s house/ picked update •Left •Got to know/ evaluated date •Talked/laughed/ joked •Went to a movie, show, etc. •Ate/drank non-alcohol •Positive affect •Drank alcohol/ used drugs •Initiated physical contact •Kissed/hugged •Initiation/ meeting Talk Shared interest Family and friends Meet in public •Date activities Group activities Dinner Movie Talk •Outcomes/ conclusions Good night kiss Take date home Hug Relationship development •Kiss •Future plans •Part for the night (M) •Made out •Had sex •Stayed over •Made plans for another date •Went home goodnight •Took date home •Went home •Evaluated feelings post-date (M) denotes male behavior Table 8.1 Dating Scripts We often think of dating as something that occurs purely among young people before they get married, but we know people in all age groups date and are looking for romantic relationships of all shapes and sizes. One other facet of script theory that is very important to consider is how we learn these scripts in the first place. As you read through both the male and female dating script, did you consciously think about how you learned to date? Of course not! However, we’ve been conditioned since we were very young to date. We’ve listened to adults tell stories of dating. We’ve watched dating as it is fictionalized on television and in movies. Dating narratives surround us, and all of these narratives help create the dating scripts that we have. Although dating may feel like you’re making it up as you go along, you already Interpersonal Communication 274
possess a treasure trove of information about how dating works. Thankfully, because we have these cultural images of dating presented to us, we also know that our dating partner (as long as they are from a similar culture) will have similar dating scripts. Research Spotlight Research One area that has received a decent amount of attention in script theory is sexual scripts, or scripts people engage in when thinking about “who can participate, what the participants should do (i.e., what verbal and nonverbal behaviors should be included and in what order they should be used), and where the sexual episode should take place.” 40 In 1993, Timothy Edgar and Mary Anne Fitzpatrick proposed a sexual script theory for communication. 41 In 2010, this script was further evaluated by Betty La France. In La France’s study, she wanted to examine the verbal and nonverbal communication behaviors that lead to sex. Starting with Edgar and Fitzpatrick’s sexual scripts, La France narrowed the list down to the following: Public Setting Script Craig was standing at the bar when he noticed Sarah. She also noticed him. There was eye contact between them. She glanced away. He approached her. “Hi, my name is Craig,” he said. “I’m Sarah. How are you doing?,” she replied. “Can I buy you a drink?,” he asked. Craig asked, “Are you alone?” “No, I came with some friends,” she replied. Craig asked her questions about herself, such as where she was from and what her major was. She responded to his questions. In return, Sarah asked Craig similar questions about himself. Private Setting Script (Her Apartment) She brought him a drink. “Want to listen to some music?,” asked Sarah. She put on the music. Craig asked, “Are your roommates around?” “This is a great apartment,” said Craig. He sat next to her on the couch. They engaged in casual conversation. There was eye contact between them. He moved closer to her. “You are so beautiful,” said Craig. He put his arm around her. Bedroom setting He undressed her. Craig started to undress himself. Sarah helped him to undress. They discussed whether they should use protection. Craig put on a condom. As for the results of this study, La France found that people predicted that as the sexual scripts progressed, the likelihood that Sarah and Craig were going to have sexual intercourse increased. Overall, La France found that the sequence of both verbal and nonverbal sexual behaviors could predict the likelihood that people believed that Sarah and Craig would have sex. For example, in the public setting script, when Sarah says, “No, I came 275 Interpersonal Communication
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Interpersonal Communication 1 In In
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Contents Preface ..................
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Organizing ........................
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Introversion/Extraversion .........
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Proxemics .........................
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Analyzing .........................
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Avoiders ..........................
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Solitary Survivor (Retired) .......
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Resource ..........................
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Reactions to Hurtful Messages .....
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Control, in, and of itself, is neit
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One of the inherent limitations of
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NACADA Journal (National Associatio
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day message family Now might relati
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“interpersonalness.” On the oth
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physical symptoms. It is vital for
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information with other people. We c
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etween serious versus non-serious i
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If, however, you’ve had a bad exp
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Religion can also impact what you v
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used to harsh language or foul lang
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Self-Monitoring The last characteri
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Today scholars view the term “int
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cable, satellite television, the Wo
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Towards a Mindfulness Model Shauna
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are). 4. L stands for love (being k
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The last facet of mindfulness is
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psychological in nature). Simply, t
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Real World Case Study Noam is a fre
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References 1 Bochner, A. P. (1989).
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Illuminating the theory & practice
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Image by Sasint from Pixabay Chapte
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As the arrow in Figure 2.1 indicate
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Discovering Self-Concept - Who are
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In another study, researchers sough
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Channel With advances in technology
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and just close your eyes. Focus on
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Figure 2.3a The Rubin Vase - based
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is normal behavior. We are so focus
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In this section, we have discussed
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The Shannon-Weaver model was critic
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MESSAGE Encoder Interpreter Decoder
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In 1970, Dean C. Barnlund created t
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As a receiver, you can keep trying
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of information from a source or sen
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The first statement in the credo fo
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feelings on this subject. When it c
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End of Chapter Quiz 1. Paul tells J
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20 Model. (2020). BusinessDictionar
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Image by johnhain from Pixabay Chap
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Thoughtful Conversely, the top ten
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The final characteristic of Rogers
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ased on facts. For example, many pe
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Mindfulness Activity One of the bea
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According to Simon, Vulture (‘vul
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• Is thinking this way helping me
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provided some interesting stories,
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1. Temperament is biologically dete
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Personality: • https://projects.f
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Neuroticism is the degree to which
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is a form of social organization wh
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Although relatively little research
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1. Lack of affect in interpersonal
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• Watch the following interview c
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sion-24 (PRCA-24). 75 If you have n
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gender (feminine males, masculine f
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tion sensitivity. In a set of thre
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7. Increased fear of rejection. 8.
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Affect
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etween self-esteem and communicatio
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https://psychcentral.com/lib/challe
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73 Buss, A. (2009). Anxious and sel
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119 Interpersonal Communication
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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
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ferent perceptions. The same thing
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Abstract Information Research Acade
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little “cuddle monster” because
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have perceptions about yourself. Th
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unique spellings of names. Names ca
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generally inflamed by this rhetoric
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We can decrease affiliation with ot
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The business world is full of jargo
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e in hot water Be in trouble. If yo
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she’s a doll full of beans full o
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types of improper language: vulgari
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doing this activity, try to be more
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Read Lastly, you should read regula
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Finally, this chapter discusses the
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References 1 Lakoff, R. T. (2001).
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expressions if everyone’s face wa
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meanings of crossing one’s arms.
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wife in high school. During a skit,
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Accenting is a form of nonverbal co
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daily lives, such as greeting, comf
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Instructions: Read the following qu
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Dysfluencies, Vocal Fillers, or Ver
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Proxemics is the study of communica
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of products available to enhance en
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_____9. _____10. I think my metabol
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care for, and take pleasure in your
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As we’ve discussed with mindfulne
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Instructions: Please read each sent
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Second, individuals must believe no
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Accent
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References 1 Eckman, P and Friesen,
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44 Ibid. 45 Richmond, V. P., Smith,
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Figure 6.1 Traditional costumes and
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In addition to a dominant culture,
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6.2 The Function of Culture Learnin
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cultural group(s). In the case of c
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Exercises • Think about a group t
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Geert Hofstede Another very importa
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U.S. is number 19 out of 76); where
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80/17475759.2017.1292944 Stella Tin
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ideas to your co-culture. Does your
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Instructions: Read the following qu
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figure out where that stereotype ca
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One day Roy and Jalissa were hangin
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References Culture: A critical rev
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and versare (turn): “conversation
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Diatribe Lastly, Angle discusses th
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Page 259 and 260: If we achieve discriminative listen
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Page 263 and 264: Step Four: Now subtract B from C. P
Page 265 and 266: Positive Characteristics Give cues
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Page 275 and 276: End of Chapter Key Terms • Analyz
Page 277 and 278: References 1 Apps, J. (2014). The a
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Page 283 and 284: you were to approach your mom, she
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Page 293 and 294: Exercises • Find video clips onli
Page 295 and 296: This tension deals with self vs. ot
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Page 299: 4. Picked up friends 5. Confirmed p
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Page 307 and 308: Exercises • As a class, ask every
Page 309 and 310: End of Chapter Quiz 1. Picking a se
Page 311 and 312: 26 Rosenfeld, L. B. (2000). Overvie
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Page 315 and 316: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Page 317 and 318: From this perspective, conflict is
Page 319 and 320: ly. Here are some examples of confl
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Page 323 and 324: Instead, people need to avoid these
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Page 327 and 328: Instructions: Read the following qu
Page 329 and 330: communicated with each other. Speci
Page 331 and 332: In 1958 social psychologist Herbert
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Page 337 and 338: Interpretation Each of the four par
Page 339 and 340: Conflict Management Tactic Definiti
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Page 345 and 346: End of Chapter Key Terms • Accide
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Beverley Fehr was one of the first
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your friendships. Why did you decid
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interpersonal goals, while maintain
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On the other side, we do depend on
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1. When you’re with your friends,
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This does not discount the possibil
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if the time arises. are ones that
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they considered friends. Although n
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• Use criticism and insults as we
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the nature of gender differences an
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Sexuality The obvious next step in
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sex (and it appears that most do),
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universities, the government, and h
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it’s not mutual, then we’re not
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perspective for communication schol
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Friendship processes 2 Hruschka, D.
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Personal Relationships (pp. 391-410
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Image by Brad Dorsey from Pixabay C
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Statistical Definition of ‘Family
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almost anything to be considered a
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The fifth trait of a family deals w
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To further explain the concepts of
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Fork Pin Third Wheel First Wheel Ho
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communicate with others. Norms, on
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same end result using multiple star
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Genogram Symbols Basic Symbols Male
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Vader is a slightly distant father
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y social-construction or intra-psyc
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“dinks,” dual incomes, no kids.
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The typical final stage in the fami
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warmth are more likely to engage in
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sibling is a great way to enjoy eac
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11.4 Marriage Relationships Learnin
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Sharing The third dimension of marr
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overly assertive in their conflict
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Chapter Wrap-Up As we discussed at
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c. Genogram d. Genealogy tree 4. In
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25 Kerr, M. E., & Bowen, M. (1988).
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71 Umberson, D., Thomeer, M. B., Kr
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12.1 Technology and Communication L
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creation of a system that could all
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(Figure 12.4). The invention of IRC
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In this section, we’re going to d
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newspapers in the 1880s often used
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Third, netiquette attempts to gover
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Instructions: This set of questions
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her/him/themselves occupied (e.g.,
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themed posts. Pitcan, M., Marwick,
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ut the goal is to provide a space w
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Psychosocial Crisis Trust vs. Mistr
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and wanted to share a meme, but rea
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Even J. K. Rowling (of Harry Potter
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They found five basic reasons peopl
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those possible in traditional FtF i
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She decides to download the app and
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The History Channel. https:// www.h
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47 Bullingham, L., & Vasconcelos, A
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0.97 hours 1.06 hours 0.59 hours 0.
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had dealings with the EPA for $50 p
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• Encourage your coworkers to dem
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4. Noticing and letting go of your
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Characteristic Informal Formal Cont
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Have you ever been disrespectful in
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Fred Dansereau, George Graen, and W
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Research Spotlight In a 2019 articl
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The third followership style is the
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It’s always good to have a peer t
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Ability to Focus Have you ever foun
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marked by gradual changes that help
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personalistic focus. Instead of jus
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Key Takeaways • According to Patr
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Propinquity Interpersonal Attractio
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e terminated. Robert Quinn was the
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employment-related decisions withou
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This section, the most important of
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WRs they had engaged in, this motiv
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There are many books out there desi
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Sixth, we have the intrusive harass
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tends to be highly uncivil in the w
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ensure that the targets of the bull
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Key Terms • Career Strategizing
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4. At work, Stella has an inherent
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21 Ibid..; pg. 33. 22 Gagnon, M. A.
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work. Journal of Managerial Psychol
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Image by John Hain from Pixabay Cha
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Butterfield and Rebecca Chory-Assad
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accurately. is defined as using
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“Even in the closest, most satisf
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After exploring the types of hurtfu
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Current research indicates that rel
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the name-calling would be considere
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speculate that cyberbullying is wor
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Denial of due process in meetings D
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Jennifer Guthrie and Adrianne Kunke
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their experiences with two addition
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Internet infidelity, and hurtful me
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tion about the state of the relatio
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42 Aloia, L., & Solomon, D. (2013).
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Assertiveness Attending Attention A
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Conflict Confrontational Behaviors
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Emotional Loneliness Emotional Vamp
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Identification Ideology of traditio
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Kinesics Language Language Adaptati
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Norms Observing Oculesics Olfactics
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Representational Function Responsiv
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Sociocommunicative Orientation Soci
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Versatility Vocabulary Vocalics Wil
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