06.09.2021 Views

Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

SHOW MORE
SHOW LESS

Create successful ePaper yourself

Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.

First Date 36 Gay Men 37 Lesbians 38 Deaf College<br />

Students 39<br />

•Get ready<br />

•Pick up date (M)<br />

•Feel nervous<br />

•Go <strong>to</strong> movie<br />

•Pay (M)<br />

•Talk<br />

•Hold hands<br />

•Go <strong>to</strong> café/party<br />

•Nonverbal closeness<br />

•Talk<br />

•Drink alcohol<br />

•Touch/hug<br />

•Deep conversation<br />

•Mingle with<br />

others<br />

•Talk<br />

•Leave party<br />

•Invite the other<br />

in<br />

•Walk/drive home<br />

(M)<br />

•Polite leave-taking<br />

•Discussed plans<br />

•Was nervous<br />

•Groomed/dressed<br />

•Went <strong>to</strong> date’s<br />

house/picked up<br />

date.<br />

•Met at pre-arranged<br />

location<br />

•Left one location<br />

for another<br />

•Got <strong>to</strong> know /evaluated<br />

date<br />

•Talked/laughed/<br />

joked<br />

•Talked <strong>to</strong> friends<br />

while on date<br />

•Went <strong>to</strong> a movie,<br />

show, etc.<br />

•Ate/drank non-alcohol<br />

•Drank alcohol/<br />

used drugs<br />

•Initiated physical<br />

contact<br />

•Discussed plans<br />

•Was nervous<br />

•Groomed/dressed<br />

•Prepared (cleaned<br />

apt., bought flowers,<br />

etc.)<br />

•Went <strong>to</strong> date’s<br />

house/ picked<br />

update<br />

•Left<br />

•Got <strong>to</strong> know/ evaluated<br />

date<br />

•Talked/laughed/<br />

joked<br />

•Went <strong>to</strong> a movie,<br />

show, etc.<br />

•Ate/drank non-alcohol<br />

•Positive affect<br />

•Drank alcohol/<br />

used drugs<br />

•Initiated physical<br />

contact<br />

•Kissed/hugged<br />

•Initiation/<br />

meeting<br />

Talk<br />

Shared interest<br />

Family and<br />

friends<br />

Meet in<br />

public<br />

•Date activities<br />

Group activities<br />

Dinner<br />

Movie<br />

Talk<br />

•Outcomes/<br />

conclusions<br />

Good night<br />

kiss<br />

Take date<br />

home<br />

Hug<br />

Relationship<br />

development<br />

•Kiss<br />

•Future plans<br />

•Part for the<br />

night (M)<br />

•Made out<br />

•Had sex<br />

•Stayed over<br />

•Made plans for<br />

another date<br />

•Went home<br />

goodnight<br />

•Took date home<br />

•Went home<br />

•Evaluated feelings<br />

post-date<br />

(M) denotes male behavior<br />

Table 8.1 Dating Scripts<br />

We often think of dating as something that occurs purely among young people before they get<br />

married, but we know people in all age groups date and are looking for romantic relationships of all<br />

shapes and sizes.<br />

One other facet of script theory that is very important <strong>to</strong> consider is how we learn these scripts in<br />

the first place. As you read through both the male and female dating script, did you consciously think<br />

about how you learned <strong>to</strong> date? Of course not! However, we’ve been conditioned since we were very<br />

young <strong>to</strong> date. We’ve listened <strong>to</strong> adults tell s<strong>to</strong>ries of dating. We’ve watched dating as it is fictionalized<br />

on television and in movies. Dating narratives surround us, and all of these narratives help create the<br />

dating scripts that we have. Although dating may feel like you’re making it up as you go along, you already<br />

<strong>Interpersonal</strong> <strong>Communication</strong> 274

Hooray! Your file is uploaded and ready to be published.

Saved successfully!

Ooh no, something went wrong!