Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

job. They approve of who we are and what we do. These are also the first people we go to when we do
something well at work.
Emotional Support
Second, special peers provide us with emotional support in the workplace. Emotional support from
special peers comes from their willingness to listen and offer helpful advice and encouragement. Kelly
Zellars and Pamela Perrewé have noted there are four types of emotional social support we get from
peers: positive, negative, non-job-related, and empathic communication. 39 Positive emotional support is
when you and a special peer talk about the positive sides to work. For example, you and a special peer
could talk about the joys of working on a specific project. Negative emotional support, on the other hand,
is when you and a special peer talk about the downsides to work. For example, maybe both of you talk
about the problems working with a specific manager or coworker. The third form of emotional social
support is non-job-related or talking about things that are happening in your personal lives outside of the
workplace itself. These could be conversations about friends, family members, hobbies, etc. A good deal
of the emotional social support we get from special peers has nothing to do with the workplace at all. The
final type of emotional social support is empathic communication, or conversations about one’s emotions
or emotional state in the workplace. If you’re having a bad day, you can go to your special peer, and they
will reassure you about the feelings you are experiencing. Another example is talking to your special peer
after having a bad interaction with a customer that ended with the customer yelling at you for no reason.
After the interaction, you seek out your special peer, and they will validate your feelings and thoughts
about the interaction.
Personal Feedback
Third, special peers will provide both reliable and candid feedback about you and your work performance.
One of the nice things about building an intimate special peer relationship is that both of you will
be honest with one another. There are times we need confirmation, but then there are times we need
someone to be bluntly honest with us. We are more likely to feel criticized and hurt when blunt honesty
comes from someone when we do not have a special peer relationship. Special peer relationships provide
a safe space where we can openly listen to feedback even if we’re not thrilled to receive that feedback.
Friendship
Lastly, special peers also offer us a sense of deeper friendship in the workplace. You can almost think
of special peers as your best friend within the workplace. Most people will only have one or two people
they consider a special peer in the workplace. You may be friendly with a lot of your peers (e.g., collegial
peers), but a special peer relationship is deeper and more meaningful.
At some point, a peer coworker relationship may, or may not, evolve into a workplace friendship.
According to Patricia Sias, there are two key hallmarks of a workplace friendship: voluntariness and
personalistic focus. First, workplace friendships are voluntary. Someone can assign you a mentor or a
mentee, but that person cannot make you form a friendship with that person. Most of the people you
work with will not be your friends. You can have amazing working relationships with your coworkers, but
you may only develop a small handful of workplace friendships. Second, workplace friendships have a
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