Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

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just ask my daddy for the money card.” • The guy was looking on a website for cars, when a rich coworker asks, “why don’t you just buy the car with cash so you don’t have to make payments?” When the guy told his coworker he couldn’t afford to pay for a car in cash, his rich coworker replied, “Why don’t you just have your parents buy it for you?” • “If you’re making $50,000 and your salary gets down to $40,000 and you have to cut, it’s very severe to you. But it’s no less severe to these other people with these big numbers.” • “People who don’t have money don’t understand the stress. Could you imagine what it’s like to say I got three kids in private school, I have to think about pulling them out? How do you do that?” • “You don’t get the vote if you don’t pay a dollar in taxes. But what I really think is it should be like a corporation. You pay a million dollars, you get a million votes. How’s that?” The perspectives illustrated in these statements are ones that most of us cannot easily relate to. The opposite is also true. People who live in the top 1% often have very flawed perceptions of what life is like for those who don’t have piles of money sitting around. Often those in the dominant group (in this case the top 1%) have no conceptualization of what life is like for those in muted groups (the bottom 99%). As such, those in muted groups often have a much clearer perception of reality. Some research in this theory has been done on other subverted groups such as new kids at school. 22 They found that it was normative patterns that created a system of subversion in the classroom. When a new student arrived, they inadvertently went against the popular normative habits of the class and, in doing so, ostracized themselves. Other students simultaneously asserted and solidified their dominance while lowering the status of the new student. This same thing can be seen in our male-dominated society. As women seek to make themselves known and heard, they are continually reduced, and male-centric standards are reinforced. Research Spotlight Research Heather Kissack (2010) focused on the subversion and muting of women in email communication within businesses. She found that women are consistently marginalized and muted in organizational emails in the workplace. This is surprising because it would seem that without the nonverbal cues of face-to-face communication, there would be less muting of women in computer-mediated communication. Unfortunately, in this study, one can see that it is the malecentric verbiage that has created this divide in social and organization status. Even as women attempted to un-mute themselves, they were increasingly muted and subverted. Kissack, H. (2010). Muted voices: a critical look at e-male in organizations. Journal of European Industrial Training, 34(6), 539-551. https://doi.org/10.1108/03090591011061211 Key Takeaways Names can impact how we perceive others. It can also impact how we feel about ourselves. We can increase affiliation with others through converging our language to others. Interpersonal Communication 134
We can decrease affiliation with others through diverging our language with others. Sexism and racism can be displayed through our language choices. It is important to be aware of the words we use so that we do not come across as sexist or racist. Exercises Create a list of names that you have heard that are unique. What makes these names so unique and memorable? Ask friends to give you their perceptions of those names. Does that match with what you think? Why or why not? Engage in a normal conversation with a friend or family member. Without having them know what you are doing, slowly and subtly converge your communication style to theirs. Record your observations. Then, with the same person, try to diverge your communication style. Re-record your observations. Ask if the person noticed any communication changes. How did it make them feel? How did you feel? Why? Make a list of all the words in the English language that are sexist or racists. Try to research those words on the Internet and determine how these words are sexists or racists. Then, provide alternatives for these words to be more politically correct. 4.4 Types of Language Learning Outcomes 3. Understand improper language and biased language. If you read or watch different types of programming, you will probably notice that there is a difference in language use based on the environment, who you are talking to, and the reason for communicating. In this section, we will discuss the different types of language. The types of language used will impact how others view you and if they will view you positively or negatively. You probably know by now that how we communicate in different contexts can vary greatly. For example, how you compose a text to your best friend is going to use different grammatical structures and words than when you compose an email to your professor. One of the main reasons for this difference is because of formal and informal language. Table 4.1 provides a general overview of the major differences between formal and informal language. Formal Language Used in carefully edited communication. Used in academic or official content. Informal Language Used in impromptu, conversational communication. Used in everyday communication. 135 Interpersonal Communication
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Interpersonal Communication 1 In In
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Contents Preface ..................
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Organizing ........................
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Introversion/Extraversion .........
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Proxemics .........................
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Analyzing .........................
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Avoiders ..........................
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Solitary Survivor (Retired) .......
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Resource ..........................
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Reactions to Hurtful Messages .....
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Control, in, and of itself, is neit
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One of the inherent limitations of
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NACADA Journal (National Associatio
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day message family Now might relati
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“interpersonalness.” On the oth
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physical symptoms. It is vital for
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information with other people. We c
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etween serious versus non-serious i
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If, however, you’ve had a bad exp
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Religion can also impact what you v
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used to harsh language or foul lang
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Self-Monitoring The last characteri
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Today scholars view the term “int
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cable, satellite television, the Wo
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Towards a Mindfulness Model Shauna
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are). 4. L stands for love (being k
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The last facet of mindfulness is
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psychological in nature). Simply, t
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Real World Case Study Noam is a fre
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References 1 Bochner, A. P. (1989).
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Illuminating the theory & practice
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Image by Sasint from Pixabay Chapte
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As the arrow in Figure 2.1 indicate
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Discovering Self-Concept - Who are
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In another study, researchers sough
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Channel With advances in technology
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and just close your eyes. Focus on
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Figure 2.3a The Rubin Vase - based
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is normal behavior. We are so focus
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In this section, we have discussed
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The Shannon-Weaver model was critic
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MESSAGE Encoder Interpreter Decoder
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In 1970, Dean C. Barnlund created t
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As a receiver, you can keep trying
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of information from a source or sen
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The first statement in the credo fo
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feelings on this subject. When it c
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End of Chapter Quiz 1. Paul tells J
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20 Model. (2020). BusinessDictionar
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Image by johnhain from Pixabay Chap
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Thoughtful Conversely, the top ten
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The final characteristic of Rogers
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ased on facts. For example, many pe
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Mindfulness Activity One of the bea
Page 109 and 110: According to Simon, Vulture (‘vul
Page 111 and 112: • Is thinking this way helping me
Page 113 and 114: provided some interesting stories,
Page 115 and 116: 1. Temperament is biologically dete
Page 117 and 118: Personality: • https://projects.f
Page 119 and 120: Neuroticism is the degree to which
Page 121 and 122: is a form of social organization wh
Page 123 and 124: Although relatively little research
Page 125 and 126: 1. Lack of affect in interpersonal
Page 127 and 128: • Watch the following interview c
Page 129 and 130: sion-24 (PRCA-24). 75 If you have n
Page 131 and 132: gender (feminine males, masculine f
Page 133 and 134: tion sensitivity. In a set of thre
Page 135 and 136: 7. Increased fear of rejection. 8.
Page 137 and 138: End of Chapter Key Terms • Affect
Page 139 and 140: etween self-esteem and communicatio
Page 141 and 142: https://psychcentral.com/lib/challe
Page 143 and 144: 73 Buss, A. (2009). Anxious and sel
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Page 147 and 148: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Page 149 and 150: ferent perceptions. The same thing
Page 151 and 152: Abstract Information Research Acade
Page 153 and 154: little “cuddle monster” because
Page 155 and 156: have perceptions about yourself. Th
Page 157 and 158: unique spellings of names. Names ca
Page 159: generally inflamed by this rhetoric
Page 163 and 164: The business world is full of jargo
Page 165 and 166: e in hot water Be in trouble. If yo
Page 167 and 168: she’s a doll full of beans full o
Page 169 and 170: types of improper language: vulgari
Page 171 and 172: doing this activity, try to be more
Page 173 and 174: Read Lastly, you should read regula
Page 175 and 176: Finally, this chapter discusses the
Page 177 and 178: References 1 Lakoff, R. T. (2001).
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Page 181 and 182: expressions if everyone’s face wa
Page 183 and 184: meanings of crossing one’s arms.
Page 185 and 186: wife in high school. During a skit,
Page 187 and 188: Accenting is a form of nonverbal co
Page 189 and 190: daily lives, such as greeting, comf
Page 191 and 192: Instructions: Read the following qu
Page 193 and 194: Dysfluencies, Vocal Fillers, or Ver
Page 195 and 196: Proxemics is the study of communica
Page 197 and 198: of products available to enhance en
Page 199 and 200: _____9. _____10. I think my metabol
Page 201 and 202: care for, and take pleasure in your
Page 203 and 204: As we’ve discussed with mindfulne
Page 205 and 206: Instructions: Please read each sent
Page 207 and 208: Second, individuals must believe no
Page 209 and 210: End of Chapter Key Terms • Accent
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References 1 Eckman, P and Friesen,
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44 Ibid. 45 Richmond, V. P., Smith,
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189 Interpersonal Communication
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Figure 6.1 Traditional costumes and
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In addition to a dominant culture,
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6.2 The Function of Culture Learnin
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cultural group(s). In the case of c
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Exercises • Think about a group t
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Geert Hofstede Another very importa
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U.S. is number 19 out of 76); where
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80/17475759.2017.1292944 Stella Tin
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ideas to your co-culture. Does your
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Instructions: Read the following qu
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figure out where that stereotype ca
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One day Roy and Jalissa were hangin
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References Culture: A critical rev
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and versare (turn): “conversation
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Diatribe Lastly, Angle discusses th
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discourage self-disclosure) • Phy
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Entitlements and Enhancements The f
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can see in Figure 7.3, the Johari W
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process by which you interact with
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they have to say, we may end up bei
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If we achieve discriminative listen
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The final listening style is the ti
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Step Four: Now subtract B from C. P
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Positive Characteristics Give cues
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Ronald Adler, Lawrence Rosenfeld, a
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is used to show that you identify w
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make this situation better?” The
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women should behave in public. Wome
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Analyz
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References 1 Apps, J. (2014). The a
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conversation isn’t easy, but it i
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Image by ID 1715736 from Pixabay Ch
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you were to approach your mom, she
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curvaceous ideal of Marilyn Monroe
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how to handle financial issues. So
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stage, we are primarily interested
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partners disagree about what is opt
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Exercises • Find video clips onli
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This tension deals with self vs. ot
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deal with integration vs. separatio
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4. Picked up friends 5. Confirmed p
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possess a treasure trove of informa
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Ludic lovers view love as a game, a
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8.6 How Gender Affects Relationship
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Exercises • As a class, ask every
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End of Chapter Quiz 1. Picking a se
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26 Rosenfeld, L. B. (2000). Overvie
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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
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From this perspective, conflict is
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ly. Here are some examples of confl
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Feelings: Feelings tell us “how t
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Instead, people need to avoid these
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are moralistic judgments where we i
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Instructions: Read the following qu
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communicated with each other. Speci
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In 1958 social psychologist Herbert
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Legitimate The fourth base of power
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the power we have over others as we
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Interpretation Each of the four par
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Conflict Management Tactic Definiti
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think, listen, and then communicate
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aggressive. Conversely, you have to
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Accide
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5. Hodoya is a Canadian union leade
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nations and applications. Allyn & B
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Beverley Fehr was one of the first
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your friendships. Why did you decid
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interpersonal goals, while maintain
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On the other side, we do depend on
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1. When you’re with your friends,
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This does not discount the possibil
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if the time arises. are ones that
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they considered friends. Although n
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• Use criticism and insults as we
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the nature of gender differences an
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Sexuality The obvious next step in
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sex (and it appears that most do),
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universities, the government, and h
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it’s not mutual, then we’re not
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perspective for communication schol
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Friendship processes 2 Hruschka, D.
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Personal Relationships (pp. 391-410
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Image by Brad Dorsey from Pixabay C
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Statistical Definition of ‘Family
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almost anything to be considered a
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The fifth trait of a family deals w
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To further explain the concepts of
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Fork Pin Third Wheel First Wheel Ho
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communicate with others. Norms, on
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same end result using multiple star
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Genogram Symbols Basic Symbols Male
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Vader is a slightly distant father
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y social-construction or intra-psyc
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“dinks,” dual incomes, no kids.
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The typical final stage in the fami
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warmth are more likely to engage in
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sibling is a great way to enjoy eac
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11.4 Marriage Relationships Learnin
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Sharing The third dimension of marr
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overly assertive in their conflict
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Chapter Wrap-Up As we discussed at
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c. Genogram d. Genealogy tree 4. In
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25 Kerr, M. E., & Bowen, M. (1988).
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71 Umberson, D., Thomeer, M. B., Kr
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12.1 Technology and Communication L
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creation of a system that could all
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(Figure 12.4). The invention of IRC
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In this section, we’re going to d
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newspapers in the 1880s often used
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Third, netiquette attempts to gover
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Instructions: This set of questions
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her/him/themselves occupied (e.g.,
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themed posts. Pitcan, M., Marwick,
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ut the goal is to provide a space w
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Psychosocial Crisis Trust vs. Mistr
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and wanted to share a meme, but rea
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Even J. K. Rowling (of Harry Potter
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They found five basic reasons peopl
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those possible in traditional FtF i
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She decides to download the app and
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The History Channel. https:// www.h
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47 Bullingham, L., & Vasconcelos, A
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0.97 hours 1.06 hours 0.59 hours 0.
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had dealings with the EPA for $50 p
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• Encourage your coworkers to dem
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4. Noticing and letting go of your
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Characteristic Informal Formal Cont
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Have you ever been disrespectful in
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Fred Dansereau, George Graen, and W
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Research Spotlight In a 2019 articl
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The third followership style is the
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It’s always good to have a peer t
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Ability to Focus Have you ever foun
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marked by gradual changes that help
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personalistic focus. Instead of jus
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Key Takeaways • According to Patr
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Propinquity Interpersonal Attractio
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e terminated. Robert Quinn was the
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employment-related decisions withou
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This section, the most important of
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WRs they had engaged in, this motiv
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There are many books out there desi
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Sixth, we have the intrusive harass
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tends to be highly uncivil in the w
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ensure that the targets of the bull
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Key Terms • Career Strategizing
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4. At work, Stella has an inherent
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21 Ibid..; pg. 33. 22 Gagnon, M. A.
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work. Journal of Managerial Psychol
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Image by John Hain from Pixabay Cha
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Butterfield and Rebecca Chory-Assad
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accurately. is defined as using
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“Even in the closest, most satisf
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After exploring the types of hurtfu
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Current research indicates that rel
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the name-calling would be considere
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speculate that cyberbullying is wor
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Denial of due process in meetings D
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Jennifer Guthrie and Adrianne Kunke
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their experiences with two addition
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Internet infidelity, and hurtful me
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tion about the state of the relatio
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42 Aloia, L., & Solomon, D. (2013).
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Assertiveness Attending Attention A
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Conflict Confrontational Behaviors
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Emotional Loneliness Emotional Vamp
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Identification Ideology of traditio
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Kinesics Language Language Adaptati
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Norms Observing Oculesics Olfactics
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Representational Function Responsiv
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Sociocommunicative Orientation Soci
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Versatility Vocabulary Vocalics Wil
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