Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

As the partners differentiate themselves from each other, they tend to engage in more disagreements.
The couples will tend to change their pronoun use from “our kitchen” becomes “my kitchen” or “our
child” becomes “my child,” depending on what they want to emphasize.
Initially, in the relationship, we tend to focus on what we have in common with each other. After we
have bonded, we are trying to deal with balancing our independence from the other person. If this cannot
be resolved, then tensions will emerge, and it usually signals that your relationship is coming apart.
The stage is where the partners tend to limit their interactions with each other.
Communication will lessen in quality and quantity. Partners try to figure out what they can and can’t talk
about with each other so that they will not argue.
Partners might not spend as much time with each other at this stage. There are fewer physical displays
of affection, as well. Intimacy decreases between the partners. The partners no longer desire to be with
each other and only communicate when they have to.
Stagnating
The next stage is , which means the relationship is not improving or growing. The
relationship is motionless or stagnating. Partners do not try to communicate with each other. When
communication does occur, it is usually restrained and often awkward. The partners live with each
other physically but not emotionally. They tend to distance themselves from the other person. Their
enthusiasm for the relationship is gone. What used to be fun and exciting for the couple is now a chore.
The stage is where both people avoid each other altogether. They would rather stay away from
each other than communicate. At this stage, the partners do not want to see each other or speak to each
other. Sometimes, the partners will think that they don’t want to be in the relationship any longer.
Terminating
The stage is where the parties decide to end or terminate the relationship. It is never easy
to end a relationship. A variety of factors can determine whether to cease or continue the relationship.
Time is a factor. Couples have to decide to end it gradually or quickly. Couples also have to determine
what happens after the termination of the relationship. Besides, partners have to choose how they want
to end the relationship. For instance, some people end the relationship via electronic means (e.g., text
message, email, Facebook posting) or via face-to-face.
Final Thoughts on Coming Together
Not every relationship will go through each of the ten stages. Several relationships do not go past the
experimenting stage. Some remain happy at the intensifying or bonding stage. When both people agree
that their relationship is satisfying and each person has their needs met, then stabilization occurs. Some
relationships go out of order as well. For instance, in some arranged marriages, the bonding occurs first,
and then the couple goes through various phases. Some people jump from one stage into another. When
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