Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

Sexuality
The obvious next step in the progression of issues related to opposite-sex friendships is sexuality. Sexual
attraction is inherent in any opposite-sex friendship between heterosexual couples. Sexual attraction may
not be something initial in a relationship. Still, it could develop further down the line and start to blur the
lines between someone’s desire for friendship and a sexual relationship. In any opposite-sex friendship,
there will always be a latent or manifested sexual attraction that is possible. Even if one of the parties
involved in the friendship is completely unattracted to the other person, it doesn’t mean that the other
friend isn’t sexually attracted. As such, like it or not, there will always be the potential for the issue of
sexuality in opposite-sex friendships once people hit puberty. Now it’s perfectly possible that both parties
within a friendship are mutually sexually attracted to each other and decide openly not to explore that
path. You can find someone sexually attractive and not see them as a viable sexual or romantic partner.
For example, maybe you both decide not to consider each other viable sexual or romantic partners
because you’re already in healthy romantic relationships, or you may realize that your friendship is more
important.
Inequality and Power
We live in a society where men and women are not treated equally. As such, a fact of inequality and
power-imbalance, created by our society, will always exist between people in opposite-sex friendships. As
such, males are in a better position to be in an exchange relationship. O’Meara argues that opposite-sex
friendships should, therefore, strive to develop communal ones. However, there is also an imbalance
that may exist when it comes to communal needs as well. Females are more likely to get their emotional
needs through same-sex friendships. However, males are more likely to get their emotional needs met
through opposite sex friendships. This dependence on the opposite sex for emotional needs and support
places females in a subordinate position of needing to fulfill those needs.
Public Relationships
The next challenge for opposite-sex friendships involves the public side of friendships. The previous
three challenges were all about the private inner workings of the friendship between a female and a male
(internal side). This challenge is focused on public displays of opposite-sex friendships. First, it’s possible
that others will see an opposite-sex friendship as a romantic relationship. Although not a horrible thing,
this could give others the impression that a pair of friends are not available for romantic relationships.
If one of the friends is seen on a date, other could get the impression that the friend is clearly cheating
on their significant other. Second, it’s possible that others won’t believe the couple as “simply being
friends.” This consistent devaluing of opposite-sex friendships and the favoring of opposite-sex romantic
relationships in our society puts a lot of stress on opposite-sex friendships. Devaluing of friendships over
romantic relationships can also be seen as a tool to delegitimize opposite-sex friendships. Third, it’s
possible that others may question the sexual orientation of the individuals involved in the opposite-sex
friendship. If a male is in a friendship relationship with a female, he may be labeled as gay or bisexual
for not turning that opposite-sex friendship into a romantic one. The opposite is also true. Lastly, public
opposite-sex friendships can cause problems for opposite-sex romantic partners. Although not always
the case, it may be very difficult for one member of a romantic relationship to conceive that their partner
is in a close friendship relationship with the opposite sex that is not romantic or sexual. For individuals
who have never experienced these types of emotional connections, they may assume that it is impossible
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Interpersonal Communication