Interpersonal Communication- A Mindful Approach to Relationships, 2020a

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Positive Characteristics Help others focus on what’s important Encourage others to be organized and concise Action-Oriented Listeners Negative Characteristics Minimize relationship issues and concerns Ask blunt questions and appear overly critical Strategies for Communicating with Action-Oriented Listeners Watch for cues of disinterest and pick up vocal pace at those points or change subjects Speak at a rapid but controlled rate Positive Characteristics Value technical information Test for clarity and understanding Encourage others to provide support for their ideas Welcome complex and challenging information Look at all sides of an issue Content-Oriented Listeners Negative Characteristics Are overly detail oriented May intimidate others by asking pointed questions Minimize the value of nontechnical information Discount information from nonexperts Take a long time to make decisions Strategies for Communicating with Content-Oriented Listeners Use two-side arguments when possible Provide hard data when available Quote credible experts Suggest logical sequences and plan Use charts and graphs Positive Characteristics Manage and save time Set time guidelines for meeting and conversations Let others know listening-time requirements Discourage wordy speakers Time-Oriented Listeners Negative Characteristics Tend to be impatient with time wasters Interrupt others Let time affect their ability to concentrate Rush speakers by frequently looking at watches/clock Strategies for Communicating with Time-Oriented Listeners Ask how much time the person has to listen Try to go under time limits when possible Be ready to cut out necessary examples and information Be sensitive to nonverbal cues indicating impatience or a desire to leave Interpersonal Communication 238
Positive Characteristics Give cues to others when time is being wasted Time-Oriented Listeners Negative Characteristics Limit creativity in others by imposing time pressures Strategies for Communicating with Time-Oriented Listeners Get to the bottom line quickly Original Source: Mallard, K. S. (1999). Lending an ear: The chair’s role as listener. The Department Chair, 9(3), 1-13. Used with Permission from the Author Table 7.2 Understanding the Four Listening Styles Hopefully, this section has helped you further understand the complexity of listening. We should mention that many people are not just one listening style or another. It’s possible to be a combination of different listening styles. However, some of the listening style combinations are more common. For example, someone who is action-oriented and time-oriented will want the bare-bones information so they can make a decision. On the other hand, it’s hard to be a people-oriented listener and time-oriented listener because being empathic and attending to someone’s feelings takes time and effort. Mindfulness Activity One of the hardest skills to master when it comes to mindfulness is mindful listening. To engage in mindful listening, Elaine Smookler recommends using the HEAR method: 1. HALT — Halt whatever you are doing and offer your full attention. 2. ENJOY — Enjoy a breath as you choose to receive whatever is being communicated to you—wanted or unwanted. 3. ASK — Ask yourself if you really know what they mean, and if you don’t, ask for clarification. Instead of making assumptions, bring openness and curiosity to the interaction. You might be surprised at what you discover. 4. REFLECT — Reflect back to them what you heard. This tells them that you were really listening. 51 For this mindfulness activity, we want you to engage in mindful listening. Start by having a conversation with a friend, romantic partner, or family member. Before beginning the conversation, find a location that has minimal distractions, so try not to engage in this activity in a public space. Also, turn off the television and radio. The goal is to focus your attention on the other person. Start by employing the HEAR method for listening during your conversation. After you have finished this conversation, try to answer the following questions: 1. How easy was it for you to provide your conversational partner your full attention? When stray thoughts entered your head, how did you refocus yourself? 2. Were you able to pay attention to your breathing while engaged in this conversation? Were you breathing lightly or heavily? Did your breathing get in the way of you listening mindfully? If yes, 239 Interpersonal Communication
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Interpersonal Communication 1 In In
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Contents Preface ..................
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Organizing ........................
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Introversion/Extraversion .........
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Proxemics .........................
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Analyzing .........................
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Avoiders ..........................
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Solitary Survivor (Retired) .......
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Resource ..........................
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Reactions to Hurtful Messages .....
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Control, in, and of itself, is neit
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One of the inherent limitations of
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NACADA Journal (National Associatio
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day message family Now might relati
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“interpersonalness.” On the oth
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physical symptoms. It is vital for
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information with other people. We c
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etween serious versus non-serious i
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If, however, you’ve had a bad exp
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Religion can also impact what you v
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used to harsh language or foul lang
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Self-Monitoring The last characteri
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Today scholars view the term “int
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cable, satellite television, the Wo
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Towards a Mindfulness Model Shauna
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are). 4. L stands for love (being k
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The last facet of mindfulness is
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psychological in nature). Simply, t
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Real World Case Study Noam is a fre
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References 1 Bochner, A. P. (1989).
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Illuminating the theory & practice
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Image by Sasint from Pixabay Chapte
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As the arrow in Figure 2.1 indicate
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Discovering Self-Concept - Who are
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In another study, researchers sough
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Channel With advances in technology
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and just close your eyes. Focus on
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Figure 2.3a The Rubin Vase - based
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is normal behavior. We are so focus
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In this section, we have discussed
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The Shannon-Weaver model was critic
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MESSAGE Encoder Interpreter Decoder
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In 1970, Dean C. Barnlund created t
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As a receiver, you can keep trying
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of information from a source or sen
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The first statement in the credo fo
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feelings on this subject. When it c
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End of Chapter Quiz 1. Paul tells J
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20 Model. (2020). BusinessDictionar
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Image by johnhain from Pixabay Chap
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Thoughtful Conversely, the top ten
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The final characteristic of Rogers
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ased on facts. For example, many pe
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Mindfulness Activity One of the bea
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According to Simon, Vulture (‘vul
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• Is thinking this way helping me
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provided some interesting stories,
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1. Temperament is biologically dete
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Personality: • https://projects.f
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Neuroticism is the degree to which
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is a form of social organization wh
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Although relatively little research
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1. Lack of affect in interpersonal
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• Watch the following interview c
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sion-24 (PRCA-24). 75 If you have n
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gender (feminine males, masculine f
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tion sensitivity. In a set of thre
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7. Increased fear of rejection. 8.
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Affect
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etween self-esteem and communicatio
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https://psychcentral.com/lib/challe
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73 Buss, A. (2009). Anxious and sel
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119 Interpersonal Communication
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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
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ferent perceptions. The same thing
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Abstract Information Research Acade
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little “cuddle monster” because
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have perceptions about yourself. Th
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unique spellings of names. Names ca
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generally inflamed by this rhetoric
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We can decrease affiliation with ot
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The business world is full of jargo
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e in hot water Be in trouble. If yo
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she’s a doll full of beans full o
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types of improper language: vulgari
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doing this activity, try to be more
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Read Lastly, you should read regula
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Finally, this chapter discusses the
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References 1 Lakoff, R. T. (2001).
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expressions if everyone’s face wa
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meanings of crossing one’s arms.
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wife in high school. During a skit,
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Accenting is a form of nonverbal co
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daily lives, such as greeting, comf
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Instructions: Read the following qu
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Dysfluencies, Vocal Fillers, or Ver
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Proxemics is the study of communica
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of products available to enhance en
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_____9. _____10. I think my metabol
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care for, and take pleasure in your
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As we’ve discussed with mindfulne
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Instructions: Please read each sent
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Second, individuals must believe no
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Accent
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References 1 Eckman, P and Friesen,
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Page 217 and 218: Figure 6.1 Traditional costumes and
Page 219 and 220: In addition to a dominant culture,
Page 221 and 222: 6.2 The Function of Culture Learnin
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Page 225 and 226: Exercises • Think about a group t
Page 227 and 228: Geert Hofstede Another very importa
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Page 231 and 232: 80/17475759.2017.1292944 Stella Tin
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Page 235 and 236: Instructions: Read the following qu
Page 237 and 238: figure out where that stereotype ca
Page 239 and 240: One day Roy and Jalissa were hangin
Page 241 and 242: References Culture: A critical rev
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Page 247 and 248: Diatribe Lastly, Angle discusses th
Page 249 and 250: discourage self-disclosure) • Phy
Page 251 and 252: Entitlements and Enhancements The f
Page 253 and 254: can see in Figure 7.3, the Johari W
Page 255 and 256: process by which you interact with
Page 257 and 258: they have to say, we may end up bei
Page 259 and 260: If we achieve discriminative listen
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Page 263: Step Four: Now subtract B from C. P
Page 267 and 268: Ronald Adler, Lawrence Rosenfeld, a
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Page 273 and 274: women should behave in public. Wome
Page 275 and 276: End of Chapter Key Terms • Analyz
Page 277 and 278: References 1 Apps, J. (2014). The a
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Page 281 and 282: Image by ID 1715736 from Pixabay Ch
Page 283 and 284: you were to approach your mom, she
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Page 287 and 288: how to handle financial issues. So
Page 289 and 290: stage, we are primarily interested
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Page 293 and 294: Exercises • Find video clips onli
Page 295 and 296: This tension deals with self vs. ot
Page 297 and 298: deal with integration vs. separatio
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Page 303 and 304: Ludic lovers view love as a game, a
Page 305 and 306: 8.6 How Gender Affects Relationship
Page 307 and 308: Exercises • As a class, ask every
Page 309 and 310: End of Chapter Quiz 1. Picking a se
Page 311 and 312: 26 Rosenfeld, L. B. (2000). Overvie
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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
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From this perspective, conflict is
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ly. Here are some examples of confl
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Feelings: Feelings tell us “how t
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Instead, people need to avoid these
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are moralistic judgments where we i
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Instructions: Read the following qu
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communicated with each other. Speci
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In 1958 social psychologist Herbert
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Legitimate The fourth base of power
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the power we have over others as we
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Interpretation Each of the four par
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Conflict Management Tactic Definiti
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think, listen, and then communicate
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aggressive. Conversely, you have to
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End of Chapter Key Terms • Accide
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5. Hodoya is a Canadian union leade
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nations and applications. Allyn & B
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Beverley Fehr was one of the first
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your friendships. Why did you decid
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interpersonal goals, while maintain
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On the other side, we do depend on
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1. When you’re with your friends,
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This does not discount the possibil
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if the time arises. are ones that
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they considered friends. Although n
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• Use criticism and insults as we
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the nature of gender differences an
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Sexuality The obvious next step in
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sex (and it appears that most do),
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universities, the government, and h
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it’s not mutual, then we’re not
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perspective for communication schol
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Friendship processes 2 Hruschka, D.
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Personal Relationships (pp. 391-410
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Image by Brad Dorsey from Pixabay C
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Statistical Definition of ‘Family
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almost anything to be considered a
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The fifth trait of a family deals w
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To further explain the concepts of
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Fork Pin Third Wheel First Wheel Ho
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communicate with others. Norms, on
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same end result using multiple star
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Genogram Symbols Basic Symbols Male
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Vader is a slightly distant father
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y social-construction or intra-psyc
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“dinks,” dual incomes, no kids.
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The typical final stage in the fami
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warmth are more likely to engage in
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sibling is a great way to enjoy eac
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11.4 Marriage Relationships Learnin
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Sharing The third dimension of marr
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overly assertive in their conflict
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Chapter Wrap-Up As we discussed at
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c. Genogram d. Genealogy tree 4. In
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25 Kerr, M. E., & Bowen, M. (1988).
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71 Umberson, D., Thomeer, M. B., Kr
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12.1 Technology and Communication L
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creation of a system that could all
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(Figure 12.4). The invention of IRC
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In this section, we’re going to d
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newspapers in the 1880s often used
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Third, netiquette attempts to gover
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Instructions: This set of questions
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her/him/themselves occupied (e.g.,
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themed posts. Pitcan, M., Marwick,
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ut the goal is to provide a space w
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Psychosocial Crisis Trust vs. Mistr
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and wanted to share a meme, but rea
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Even J. K. Rowling (of Harry Potter
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They found five basic reasons peopl
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those possible in traditional FtF i
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She decides to download the app and
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The History Channel. https:// www.h
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47 Bullingham, L., & Vasconcelos, A
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0.97 hours 1.06 hours 0.59 hours 0.
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had dealings with the EPA for $50 p
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• Encourage your coworkers to dem
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4. Noticing and letting go of your
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Characteristic Informal Formal Cont
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Have you ever been disrespectful in
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Fred Dansereau, George Graen, and W
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Research Spotlight In a 2019 articl
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The third followership style is the
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It’s always good to have a peer t
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Ability to Focus Have you ever foun
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marked by gradual changes that help
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personalistic focus. Instead of jus
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Key Takeaways • According to Patr
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Propinquity Interpersonal Attractio
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e terminated. Robert Quinn was the
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employment-related decisions withou
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This section, the most important of
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WRs they had engaged in, this motiv
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There are many books out there desi
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Sixth, we have the intrusive harass
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tends to be highly uncivil in the w
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ensure that the targets of the bull
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Key Terms • Career Strategizing
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4. At work, Stella has an inherent
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21 Ibid..; pg. 33. 22 Gagnon, M. A.
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work. Journal of Managerial Psychol
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Image by John Hain from Pixabay Cha
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Butterfield and Rebecca Chory-Assad
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accurately. is defined as using
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“Even in the closest, most satisf
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After exploring the types of hurtfu
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Current research indicates that rel
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the name-calling would be considere
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speculate that cyberbullying is wor
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Denial of due process in meetings D
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Jennifer Guthrie and Adrianne Kunke
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their experiences with two addition
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Internet infidelity, and hurtful me
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tion about the state of the relatio
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42 Aloia, L., & Solomon, D. (2013).
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Assertiveness Attending Attention A
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Conflict Confrontational Behaviors
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Emotional Loneliness Emotional Vamp
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Identification Ideology of traditio
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Kinesics Language Language Adaptati
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Norms Observing Oculesics Olfactics
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Representational Function Responsiv
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Sociocommunicative Orientation Soci
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Versatility Vocabulary Vocalics Wil
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